? Medication for anxiety

[helpingpeggy]

Hello,
For the kind people who’ve advised me over the past couple of months..an update:
I visited mum in the care home yesterday, again with my brother for support. Mum ran towards us when she saw us, frantic to be with us, shaking and crying. We were able to calm her but it’s clear that she’s struggling to settle ( 2 months now since she moved in). Staff say she walks round the building for a lot of the day. She’s got insight into the fact that she’s got memory problems and is especially worried about forgetting whether or not dad is alive (he is!) and our children’s names. She has an album of photos that she looks at a lot.
I’m wondering whether it’s worth trying some anti- anxiety medication for her from the GP and would very much appreciate your views.
As for me, I’m still finding this incredibly hard..to know her level of fear and distress is heartbreaking for me. It’s a comfort to know that I’m not alone in feeling like this.

 

[maisiecat]

Hi @helpingpeggy my husband started citalopram to reduce anxiety a little while after he was admitted to the Home. He was so frail from his hospital stay that for the first few weeks he just rested but then the agitated started. My husband becomes very aggressive easily so it was important to control this.
He is much more settled on this drug and I also think many people with dementia are clinically depressed so obviously helped that.
On citalopram my husband joins in with activities at the Home and likes outings now and has been able to come home for lunch.
Always remember its your person you know her better than anyone else go with your instincts.

 

[Dave63]

I’m wondering whether it’s worth trying some anti- anxiety medication for her from the GP and would very much appreciate your views.

It's definitely something worth speaking to her GP about who may also be able make a referral to the mental health team for review. It can take some time for people to settle when they go into care as the combination of moving from a familiar environment to a new, unknown one can be extremely challenging for some people. That was definitely the case for my mum who has advanced Parkinson's, dementia, anxiety and depression.

As for me, I’m still finding this incredibly hard..to know her level of fear and distress is heartbreaking for me.

This is something which will resonate with a lot of people here on the forum. For me it was the level of guilt and self-doubt together with the feeling we were somehow betraying mum. Having a loved one go into care is, for most people, a completely new experience and not something life can prepare you for. It's a shame they didn't teach it as an o'level when I was at school, it would have been a lot more useful than woodwork

 

[sdmhred]

whoops I posted this in the wrong place so now on twice 🙈🙈🤣

Take care of yourself @helpingpeggy - it’s such a rollercoaster journey for us as carers and loved ones ♥️♥️

In terms of anxiety I think it’s definitely worth a chat with her GP. Mum is very anxious regarding personal care and is convinced every time she is rolled she is going to fall off the bed. She grabs on to the carers uniforms and won’t let go. She was started on a low dose of fluoxetine which they think has helped a little. We would have gone for escitalopram but it was contraindicated. Others have found sertraline helpful.

I hope your mum settles in time xxxx

 

[Jake's Nan]

Hello,
For the kind people who’ve advised me over the past couple of months..an update:
I visited mum in the care home yesterday, again with my brother for support. Mum ran towards us when she saw us, frantic to be with us, shaking and crying. We were able to calm her but it’s clear that she’s struggling to settle ( 2 months now since she moved in). Staff say she walks round the building for a lot of the day. She’s got insight into the fact that she’s got memory problems and is especially worried about forgetting whether or not dad is alive (he is!) and our children’s names. She has an album of photos that she looks at a lot.
I’m wondering whether it’s worth trying some anti- anxiety medication for her from the GP and would very much appreciate your views.
As for me, I’m still finding this incredibly hard..to know her level of fear and distress is heartbreaking for me. It’s a comfort to know that I’m not alone in feeling like this.

 

[Jake's Nan]

It does sound like anxiety, please get advice from the GP or mental health team. My brother has been on Sertraline for 7 weeks and it has really helped him although he still lives at home. It's very upsetting seeing family shaking, crying and imagining all sorts. Keep going.

 

[Ellie2018]

Although not in a home, my husband goes to a day centre and I was always getting reports of him being verbally aggressive - shouting in everyone’s ears - he has lost the concept of physical boundaries. He was stopped from going 3 times and is still unable to use the transport but we got advice for the GP who put him on anti anxiety/depression medication and the last few times I’ve gone to pick him up, the staff have commented on how lovely he’s been. It really has made a difference. What we can’t know is how our loved ones feel so it’s a guessing game but I can absolutely get why my OH would be depressed with what is going on and the medication is certainly a big help. My advice would be to chat with the GP

 

[helpingpeggy]

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate your support. I’ll contact the GP tomorrow