mam getting worse


Registered User
Jan 8, 2007
hi, don,t know why i post sometimes i feel i can,t really help anyone else with thier posts but it seems when i write it down it gets it out, many friends will say to me you know where i am if you want to talk but i can,t. last monday mam seemed to be a bit more confused than usual got herself upset because she couldn,t understand what was going on, but on tues she seemed a little like her old self and we went shopping to the metro centre which she enjoyed. on tues nite she went to her local pub but couldn,t remember why. to cut a long story short she was admitted to an assesment unit. and since last wednesday i see a bit more of her disappearing every day. she is like a little lost child. she knows who we are but it breaks our hearts. we think how could she go downhill so quickley but nobody seems bothered. i know by joining tp there are many others going through or have been through all of this, its like i think it was grommet said its like standing on the edge of an abyss


Registered User
May 20, 2004
It does help to write it down here. I could never discuss things with Mum either over Dad or more recently my Aunt. On here we share things that we just can't face in the open.

No answers, not too many solutions, but lots of understanding.

Let it flow!


Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
Hello JJ

Sorry to hear about your mam. I know how upsetting it is. I guess it's just such an unfathomable disease. One minute things seem relatively 'normal' and the next quite the opposite. My mum goes through periods of confusion and lucidity although is hanging on for dear life to her independence. It's heartbreaking to see someone you love, as you said, disappear in front of you. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes, I think why couldn't mum have had an illness that's more tangible ... god forbid, like cancer - I know that's an awful thing to say. I'm not for one minute saying that it would be any easier. But what I mean is at least she would be aware of her illness. With AD/VaD, it's the inability of the sufferer (at times) to know there's anything wrong. No matter what we do as carers, or how we try to rationalise it, I've found with my mum that there's this incomprehension one minute and the next ... Oh I don't know. Sorry for rambling!

I'm sorry I can't offer any answers. Only my own thoughts. It's frustrating for you I know. But just to let you know that I understand how you feel. If only we had a magic wand ...
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi J.J.

People always advise, when you have a problem, that if you write it down, you get it out of your system.

If you write it down on TP, there is always a possibility someone is able to send you a reply which brings you some comfort.

Talking to friends is not always OK. Talking to friends on TP IS always OK. There is always someone here.

Don`t ever hold back from posting. If you feel it helps to write it down then do it.

This unpredictable behaviour from your mother is really hard to cope with, because you don`t know, from one hour to the next, how she`ll be.

We`re all with you in this struggle. We know the strain you are under.

Just try to make the most of your time with your mother when she seems more aware and less confused. That`s all you or any of us can do.

Please keep posting. Love Sylvia xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
j.j said:
hi, don,t know why i post sometimes i feel i can,t really help anyone else with thier posts but it seems when i write it down it gets it out, many friends will say to me you know where i am if you want to talk but i can,t.
Hi j.j

Don't ever feel that you can't help other people. Even if at the moment you just want to talk about your own feelings, that's OK. Reading your post may make someone else feel that they are not alone. Even though we are in different situations, we all have the same feelings of depression, loneliness and inadequacy.

One day you'll read a post from someone who is struggling, and feel that you want to help. But don't worry about that for now, just post whenever you feel like it. We're all here for you.



Registered User
Jan 1, 2007
I know what you mean when you describe your Mum as being like a little lost child, when I see my Dad I just want to pick him up and take all the pain away, but I cant. Just remember you are not alone, many of us are in the same boat!