Hi everyone it is nice to communicate with people in the same circumstance as myself. I look after both my Mam and Dad. Dad at 90 has severe vascular dementia while Mam at 88 has medium alzheimer's disease. They have lived with me for the last 51/2 years when they moved into my home so I could help Mam care for Dad. It was then I realised she was unwell and she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Over 21/2 years ago Dad deteriorated and has been unable to talk, walk, is incontinent, has to be changed, fed and generally have everything done for him. I do have carers who come for 30mins 3 times a day to help me dress and change Dad. Mam on the other had looks after herself reasonably well with prompts but her memory of anything only lasts minutes and she is now starting to forget where she is and what she is doing. I have had to leave work to look after them as it is a full time job in itself. My partner - who does not live with me - is a good support but is limited to how much he can do. I have not had a break other than my social time of 2 hours every other Friday and am now struggling to cope. I have tried to find about respite live in care so I could have a few days away from the pressure. Does anyone have experience of live-in care?
Mam and Dad
- Thread starter J4ck1eM
- Start date
Hi @J4ck1eM
I briefly considered this for mum, but it was very expensive and events overtook all my plans anyway, so mum moved to a care home and was settled there. The main thing about care at home is that the Local Authority will only fund carers 3 or 4 times a day (which is what you already have). If you are self-funding it would probably be cheaper than paying for both of them to be in a care home, but, as I said, it is still expensive and without a house to sell (as they will still be living in it) not many people can afford it and even if you can affort it for a while the LA will not continue paying for it when the money runs out.
Having said though, if you can affort it, it can work well and I know people on here have done this. I also gather that you are only looking for a short period of respite, so you might be able to go direct to an agency. Does the one you already use do live-in care? Im sure that someone with experience will be along to give details
I briefly considered this for mum, but it was very expensive and events overtook all my plans anyway, so mum moved to a care home and was settled there. The main thing about care at home is that the Local Authority will only fund carers 3 or 4 times a day (which is what you already have). If you are self-funding it would probably be cheaper than paying for both of them to be in a care home, but, as I said, it is still expensive and without a house to sell (as they will still be living in it) not many people can afford it and even if you can affort it for a while the LA will not continue paying for it when the money runs out.
Having said though, if you can affort it, it can work well and I know people on here have done this. I also gather that you are only looking for a short period of respite, so you might be able to go direct to an agency. Does the one you already use do live-in care? Im sure that someone with experience will be along to give details
Hello, I don’t yet have experience of your situation but in case it’s of any help, here’s a link to the page where you can do a post code search for services in your area
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
If you think it would help to talk to the experts on the help line the details are
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
If you think it would help to talk to the experts on the help line the details are
National Dementia Helpline
0300 222 11 22
Our helpline advisers are here for you.
Helpline opening hours:
Monday to Wednesday 9am – 8pm
Thursday and Friday 9am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday 10am – 4pm
Hi @J4ck1eM and welcome to TP
Live in care is ridiculously expensive, I did it a couple of times for my OH I used a London based care company that I found on line.
Have they both had an up to date needs assessment from SS and have you had a recent carers assessment? SS can sometimes help steer you in the right direction for respite care.
Now you have found us please keep posting
Live in care is ridiculously expensive, I did it a couple of times for my OH I used a London based care company that I found on line.
Have they both had an up to date needs assessment from SS and have you had a recent carers assessment? SS can sometimes help steer you in the right direction for respite care.
Now you have found us please keep posting
I don’t know if it would be relevant in your situation, but I was recently helped by Crossroads Crisis care team. They provided overnight carers. It might be worth checking Crossroads in your area. The agencies in my area charge between £16 and £25 an hour at night.
Are you self funding? If not, I’m sure I’ve read on other posts that people are offered two weeks a year paid respite. You’d need to contact Social Services to get an assessment of needs.
Are you self funding? If not, I’m sure I’ve read on other posts that people are offered two weeks a year paid respite. You’d need to contact Social Services to get an assessment of needs.
