my sister and I have been looking after our mother a long time. We are finding it harder and the system-getting help, doctors, consultants etc is getting us down.Her GP doesnt do home visits so getting her there this morning, waiting an hour in the packed waiting room was really hard. her heart sounded fine but offered to do an ecg but there was a long queue for nurse-we said no as her anxiety was through the roof and she was so tired.
We have made a couple decisions:
If we are given the choice-lets say shes in hospital with pneumonia which we wont be treating-and they say she can go home or to hospice. We will choose hospice. Its a fabulous place, my fathers final days were there.We feel it is best for her and something might go wrong at home.It probably be best we arent responsible for her final days.
The occupational therapist called the other day. He said if she falls, call him and a hoist will be put in and I would be trained. he was very positive about the whole thing-saying we would have help 45 mins/3 times a day and how we wouldnt have to worry about sleepless nights anymore as she would be bed bound.
My reaction to this was absolute dread. I also read that if Im trained in the hoist then they only give one carer to help as Im there to do it. I think this is where I will have to say no and if she falls then it will have to be a nursing home.Also it wouldnt really mean no sleepless nights/easier-there are still issues like preventing pressure sores, feeding/swallowing, infections.
I hate to be selfish here but I have delayed my life, have nothing from family members(they dont even bring a cake when visiting)the house will be sold and savings split evenly. Why would I stay and do this for free?As hard as it will be to see her in a nursing home, it would probably be the best place as the services at home are ****. I would imagine a hoist is hard for anyone but for a dementia patient it must be even more so.I dont think I can use it on my mother or be involved in that level of care.
We have made a couple decisions:
If we are given the choice-lets say shes in hospital with pneumonia which we wont be treating-and they say she can go home or to hospice. We will choose hospice. Its a fabulous place, my fathers final days were there.We feel it is best for her and something might go wrong at home.It probably be best we arent responsible for her final days.
The occupational therapist called the other day. He said if she falls, call him and a hoist will be put in and I would be trained. he was very positive about the whole thing-saying we would have help 45 mins/3 times a day and how we wouldnt have to worry about sleepless nights anymore as she would be bed bound.
My reaction to this was absolute dread. I also read that if Im trained in the hoist then they only give one carer to help as Im there to do it. I think this is where I will have to say no and if she falls then it will have to be a nursing home.Also it wouldnt really mean no sleepless nights/easier-there are still issues like preventing pressure sores, feeding/swallowing, infections.
I hate to be selfish here but I have delayed my life, have nothing from family members(they dont even bring a cake when visiting)the house will be sold and savings split evenly. Why would I stay and do this for free?As hard as it will be to see her in a nursing home, it would probably be the best place as the services at home are ****. I would imagine a hoist is hard for anyone but for a dementia patient it must be even more so.I dont think I can use it on my mother or be involved in that level of care.