M.I.L coming home?


Registered User
Jan 11, 2007
Hello everyone.
I have taken the week off work. Much needed space!!
M.I.L.(Nan) has been in hospital the last two months due to COPD, very low blood pressure (caused by Aricept?, now on half dose 5mg) Mood since halving the Aricept has changed, more agitated, bad tempered but that may settle. Anyhow now it is time for her to be discharged as there is no medical reason for her to be in hospital.
Richard and I had a meeting last week with hospital nurse, CPN, and social worker to see what would be the best outcome for Nan. They went through 'continuing care assessment' and according to that Nan met the needs for continuing care-whatever that means?????
It has been decided that Nan should be tried for short periods of time to be allowed home with OT nurses to see if she can cope, and if she can then carers will come in to her four times a day. Richard and I both feel worried about this. She is very weak, unsteady on her feet, at high risk of falls and has stairs in her house. I know we are not professionals and feel out of our depth. Our concern is that what happens when she is on her own. We have alarms in place and we only live along the road from her, but still it makes us worry. Why is Alzheimers disease not taken seriously?....or is that just the way we feel.
Sorry for this post...I just don't know where to turn at the moment, everything seems so confusing, I don't understand this whole care system anymore. Nans social worker said Richard must get LPA so he has got on with that, he just has to wait a few weeks for Nans sisters to reply to the Solicitor.
Do any of you go through so many mood swings because of all this?
anger, confusion, depression, feeling useless, guilty, crying for no reason-or am I losing my marbles!!!!!!

Alison K

Registered User
Mar 29, 2008
Hi there

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I am no expert on care, but I think if you are not happy with this option and if MIL's Blood pressure is low the danger of falls is a real one. The other option is a NH, which if she has her own house may need to be sold to fund. I suggest you speak to SW etc again and dont accept anything till you are happy. Have you looked at any homes? Is living with you an option and I know it sint for many, space, young family or generally not being able to deal with a person with dementia and many of us find it too hard. I couldnot cope longterm with my dad despite being in caring profession. Speak to your Gp re support for yourselves. Hope you find a solution Love Ali


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear Richard & Diane,
My husband was diagnoise at the age of 58 with AD. He is now in E.M.I. Unit and in the final stages.
You are not loosing your marbels but from personal experience a visit to the Doctor's for support was a great help.
Feelings such as depression, anger, confusion, guilt, feeling useless, crying for no reason.
As Carers we go through all of those emotions but if you anaylis what the person with AD is going through my husband went through all those.
Where we can do things to the best of our ability for our loved ones, they have all those emotions and rely on us to guide, love and protect them.
Wish you both all the best


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
Richard and I had a meeting last week with hospital nurse, CPN, and social worker to see what would be the best outcome for Nan. They went through 'continuing care assessment' and according to that Nan met the needs for continuing care-whatever that means?????
If continuing care means the same nationwide, as it does in Scotland, then Nan should be in a dementia Nursing home, where the fees are paid by the NHS.

If this is the case, then there should be no need to sell her home to pay care home fees. I am sorry, I don't know the rules in other areas of UK, only Scotland.

It still makes me wonder. If Nan has been assessed as needing continuing care, why then is she being sent home with carers only 4 times per day?

Continuing care as I understand it is 24/7

Take care


Registered User
Jan 11, 2007
with grateful thanks to you all

Thank-you all soooo much for your replies. I know how we are feeling is how everyone else feels also. Some days are just far worse than others. Just being able to sit down and share those feelings on TP is such a great help.
I went to visit Nan this afternoon after she had been taken back from her daily visit for an hour at home with the OT nurses. She is determined and very strong-willed that she is going home, whatever any of us think.
Tomorrow I am going to contact the social worker for a little more advice. I have taken into account all your valuable advice and apreciate it very much. Even though Nan fits the continuing care that had been assessed last week I think there is a seperate care assessment for her as far as NHS funded care goes. I took a peep at the levels of care categories needed on the link through TP and think she will not qualify. It seems totally different to the one done in hospital last week. I shall see what the social worker says tomorrow.
Thanks again, you are all treasures!!!
Love Richard and Diane XX