Lots of things happening, too quickly

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by pinkjandt, May 24, 2008.

  1. pinkjandt

    pinkjandt Registered User

    Apr 11, 2008
    Hello everyone.
    Its the middle of the night, and the first time today that I have been alone to think

    Terry has been slipping slightly after a brilliant recover due to taking aricept, he keeps having periods when he is bent over sideways,sounds bizarre I know but he just can,t straighten up for several hours,and is more vague than usual.

    Has anyone else experienced this?Is it a side effect or more worrying a mini stroke, just need your opinions please.

    Also we are just going to move into sheltered housing which although i know will be great for terry,I am appalled at the thought of becoming old before my time.

    selfish i know but terry is 8 years older than me, and i still FEEL young,

    sorry, just feeling sorry for myself and afraid that life is running away from me and any control that i had is rapidly going

    Just needed someone to talk to. my family are fantastic, but the decisions are ultimately mine. just scared of getting it all wrong

    thanks for listening
  2. citybythesea

    citybythesea Registered User

    Mar 23, 2008
    coast of texas
    A big hug for you....I would talk to a dr. about the sidewaYS thing. Mom was on aricept for awhile and it did help but I don't have a recollection or even a diary entry of something like that. I know that at certain stages they loose their abilities to hold head up and etc....but even when that started happening I had moms dr. check her out for signs of a stroke or anything else that may have cause it.

    I don't know what "sheltered housing" is. I assume it is like assisted living here in the US. Jacks grandmother lives in an assisted living enviroment (small apartment with bedroom, bathe-has pull chord to call for help, livingroom and small kitchen -sink, half fridge,microwave) they have a bus that takes them placews along with their meals being in a large dining room. They have a young man who organizes events for there. She loves it. She can still come and go...but still has the extra security. If this is what you are talking of .....look at it as a place that will offer much relaxation for you to enjoy all your youthful activities.

    I hope your decisions start coming easily and in a manner that you are comfortable with.
  3. Ditto

    Ditto Registered User

    May 17, 2008
    Cape Town
    You don't need to say sorry for feeling sorry for yourself!

    Hi Jan,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I definitely think that you should consult with his Doctor regarding him being bent over.. It doesn't sound right to me but I'm not a Doctor.. Rather check and be safe than sorry.

    Regarding the assisted housing. You are not feeling sorry for yourself as your reaction to this is quite honestly to be expected. No one wants to be treated like an "oldie" especially when they still feel alive and vibrant and are the "partner carer". Try and consider the move as a positive change for both of you. It will be extemely good for your husband in the long term and for yourself, the opportunity to get much needed help that should eventually lead to you having some quality time for yourself which you can use to pursue your own "younger" interests. Perhaps a night out once a week with old or even new friends. Perhaps an afternoon of pampering at a salon or maybe just a little extra time for reflection. Whatever you would like to do to keep "living" ... DO! Taking good care of your own needs will help you to contine doing the very best you can for the man you love. Remember Jan... whether you realize it or not, Your happiness is as important to him as his is to you.

    It doesn't matter what category of carer you fall into... you deserve and owe it to yourself to have at least a little of a life of your own.

    I don't think you are feeling sorry for yourself honey, but I do think you feel guilty to be having so called "selfish" thoughts. Just remember though....you are not being selfish, you're just being a normal person with normal needs.

    Take good care of yourself

    Ditto :)
  4. pinkjandt

    pinkjandt Registered User

    Apr 11, 2008
    Thank you so much for replies.

    I know what we are doing is right I was just having a little wobble.

    I think I will contact the hospital and mention the bendy thing

  5. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Wigan, Lancs
  6. pinkjandt

    pinkjandt Registered User

    Apr 11, 2008
    Hi Sue
    Thank you so much for that link, it could have been written for terry

    How much easier it becomes when you are working with such a fantastic group like yourselves.

    Now I know it is just a progression of AZ I will put it in the nuisance catagory !!

    I am feeling a lot more positive today, as my grandchildren say

    Kind regards
  7. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    thanks Sue - you saved my having to go looking for the picture again!
  8. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    Many thanks...

    To Jan for beginning this thread..and to others who have contributed.

    It's raised my awareness of what is happening to Eric..apart from "furniture walking" and shuffling..

    When sitting he leans..as Bruce's Jan is in the photo..usually to the right..
    When standing he is leaning forward from the waist..and he's now starting to walk like this..

    He takes Reminyl..

    In many ways it's a relief to know that this is a progression of the disease...

    Love gigi xx

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