Hi everyone, I have joined this site because I think Mum has early Alzheimers. She is certainly very forgetful although she really won't admit it. All she says is that she can't remember a thing then when we get to the doctors (which has taken me 6 months for her to agree to let me go with her) she just says that she is "a bit forgetful but at her age (82) it is to be expected)
Dad is fantastic with her but by the end of the day he is getting a bit fraught. His patience is endless during the day and he is still very active so he copes very well but I need to try and make life a little easier for the 2 of them.
The doctor has referred Mum to the memory clinic at the local hospital and it now seems that whilst they were away on a 5 day break the appointment has been made. It didn't help that the secretary left a message on the answerphone to say that her appointment was for (date and time) at the Old Age Psychiatry clinic. I don't think they realise the effect this has on some people. I do think it would have been better to have said that the appointment was at the Memory Clinic which is situated in the Old Age Psychiatry Unit. Mum was pretty upset to say the least.
My sister stayed over at their house for a night whilst they were away and rang to say that the fridge was full of out of date stuff - dairy stuff with use by dates going back to 2006. I thought it best to let Dad know but Mum went ballistic when he tried to sort it out. She told him to leave the fridge alone. It was her fridge and she would sort it out... and what was I doing checking out her fridge while she wasn't there! Dad explained that it was my sister who had noticed when she stayed over but it was still not a pleasant experience.
Mum is continually trying to pay me for stuff she has already paid for and Dad is concerned because she tends to set up direct debits for any charity that pops its literature through the door. He now tries to get there first and destroy any "begging" letters before she spends all their pensions on charities.
I really need help in how to deal with this. Is it better to point out how many times she repeats herself / tries to do things? I thought about taking the money she offers until she has given it to me 6 or more times and then giving it back to her to enforce the fact that her memory is not as good as she thinks it is but is this just counter productive? I guess the next day she wouldn't remember anyway so is it just cruel and pointless? What do other members do to try to help their loved ones? Is there anything we can do to help? Is it worth pointing out that she has told me something 10 times over or not? I am slowly losing my Mum, and Dad is losing his wife. I feel like I want to shock Mum into realising what is happening but I know in my heart that no matter what I do this won't happen. I am scared of the future for all of us.
It helps to know that we are not alone but sometimes reading the posts is depressing especially realising that we are only at the start of the slope.
Sorry, folks, this was not meant to get maudling. Most of the time I laugh off what Mum says and does because taking it too seriously is depressing. It is my way of coping I guess.
Thanks for listening and any help / advice would be greatly appreciated.
Dad is fantastic with her but by the end of the day he is getting a bit fraught. His patience is endless during the day and he is still very active so he copes very well but I need to try and make life a little easier for the 2 of them.
The doctor has referred Mum to the memory clinic at the local hospital and it now seems that whilst they were away on a 5 day break the appointment has been made. It didn't help that the secretary left a message on the answerphone to say that her appointment was for (date and time) at the Old Age Psychiatry clinic. I don't think they realise the effect this has on some people. I do think it would have been better to have said that the appointment was at the Memory Clinic which is situated in the Old Age Psychiatry Unit. Mum was pretty upset to say the least.
My sister stayed over at their house for a night whilst they were away and rang to say that the fridge was full of out of date stuff - dairy stuff with use by dates going back to 2006. I thought it best to let Dad know but Mum went ballistic when he tried to sort it out. She told him to leave the fridge alone. It was her fridge and she would sort it out... and what was I doing checking out her fridge while she wasn't there! Dad explained that it was my sister who had noticed when she stayed over but it was still not a pleasant experience.
Mum is continually trying to pay me for stuff she has already paid for and Dad is concerned because she tends to set up direct debits for any charity that pops its literature through the door. He now tries to get there first and destroy any "begging" letters before she spends all their pensions on charities.
I really need help in how to deal with this. Is it better to point out how many times she repeats herself / tries to do things? I thought about taking the money she offers until she has given it to me 6 or more times and then giving it back to her to enforce the fact that her memory is not as good as she thinks it is but is this just counter productive? I guess the next day she wouldn't remember anyway so is it just cruel and pointless? What do other members do to try to help their loved ones? Is there anything we can do to help? Is it worth pointing out that she has told me something 10 times over or not? I am slowly losing my Mum, and Dad is losing his wife. I feel like I want to shock Mum into realising what is happening but I know in my heart that no matter what I do this won't happen. I am scared of the future for all of us.
It helps to know that we are not alone but sometimes reading the posts is depressing especially realising that we are only at the start of the slope.
Sorry, folks, this was not meant to get maudling. Most of the time I laugh off what Mum says and does because taking it too seriously is depressing. It is my way of coping I guess.
Thanks for listening and any help / advice would be greatly appreciated.