Loss

[loneyjade]

Hi ,have place a few pics on the pics thread. Well son did really, not me.
Hope we did it right. They are on the large size,could not think how to make them smaller. First attempt, so please bare with us.
They are still a happy reminder of few days away.

Regards Jade xxxx.

 

[loneyjade]

Hi, I am feeling a bit down at present,its coming up to hubbies birthday. It will be our first one apart in 47yrs. This time last year we where in the throws of organising his big 90th birthday bash. He did so enjoy himself,and we had a tremendous turn out for him. This year I just feel so numb inside. The few days I had away with my grandson, did really help, but this now seems so distant now.
I just do not know how I am going to face the day when it comes.
Sorry for being such a moaner.

Jade xx

 

[Izzy]

There is no way you are a moaner. It is completely understandable that you're feeling this way. Look after yourself. Izzy x

 

[Helen33]

Dear Jade,

I am glad that you can come to your friends on Talking Point and share where you're at in your loss. Of course you will be missing your hubby terribly and especially around a birthday in which you haven't been apart for all those years!! What would you think to inviting one or two special people around for an early evening drink and let off one or two of those Chinese lanterns in remembrance of your hubby's birthday?

Sending you love and a warm (HUG) x

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Jade.

People say all the `firsts` are the worst. I can only imagine.

You are trying hard to make a good life for yourself but there are bound to be special times in your life when you feel your husband`s loss even more deeply than usual.

Please do not apologize for offloading on TP. That is what it`s here for and we all understand.

I hope you can manage to do something just a little bit special to mark your husband`s birthday, knowing he will be with you in spirit.

Love xx

 

[sad nell]

I hope you manage to celebrate your husbands life today, I know how hard this day must be for you.Shall raise a glass for you both this evening, look after yourself love Pam

 

[loneyjade]

Thank you all so much for your kind words,and hugs. That is a lovely thought to send up a Chinese lantern. I really do have wonderful friends,both on this thread and in person. When I returned home from shopping today, there was a message on my phone,from the friends I used to work with.They have invited me out to lunch, next Wednesday also the following week.They have really cheered me up. I do keep in touch with them, and they with me.I am looking forward to having two nice meals out.I do believe, that they have remembered it is approaching hubbies birthday, and this is their way of remembering him also. They where all at his big party last year. Friendship is truly a thing to be treasured.

Cheers Jade.xxx

 

[loneyjade]

Hi, I did enjoy my meals. So nice to catch up with old friends and to hear all their news. Everybody is doing so well,and I have been asked if I would like to go away on a short holiday to Spain at the end of September. I will really have to think about this, I think it may be a bit too soon. I would so much prefer to save and go next year. My friends and I have booked a murder mystery week end, this as a Christmas treat for us all. This is in November, just the one night away,staying at a spa hotel with the use of all their facilities. I am looking forward to that.


Cheers Jade,xxxx

 

[loneyjade]

Hi, I returned to my old place of work yesterday.My first time back in over 3yrs. Two of my former colleagues who also happen to be very close friends, hold a line dancing afternoon. They have asked me numerous times to come along and have a go. But Friday`s was one of my days to visit hubby,so I did not want to go. Now I really have no excuse, and I have to say it was most enjoyable.To see all my old students [a centre for adults with learning difficulties] all old and valued friends, was so uplifting to my spirit. I did not realize how much I had missed the work that I gave up to look after my hubby. Not that I would have had any other way, I took early retirement because he was my number one priority. I do not regret having done so. They have asked me back and I do believe that I will enjoy going to try and learn some line dancing. That is, if I can get my feet to go in the right direction. Am looking forward to next Friday.

Kindest regards ,Jade.xxx

 

[Grannie G]

Well done Jade

And good luck.

I love line dancing but gave up when Dhiren needed me at home. Maybe another outlet for me too.

Love xx

 

[sad nell]

Jade hope you do take up your line dancing, and Sylvia what a dark horse you never told us about your dancing abilities, I did give it ago , but was very embarrasing, left foot did not know what right was doing, remember the music it was black velvet, no idea what the dance was. Jade so pleased you have such lovely friends, and hope you enjoy your spa break, love Pam

 

[Skye]

Well done Jade. Friends are so important, and I'm also learning how supportive people can be. I've just had a lovely afternoon, visiting a beautiful bay near here with two friends, with afternoon tea at a hotel.

You really find out who your friends are, don't you?

Love,

 

[loneyjade]

Hi,and thank you all for your encouragement. Skye so happy you had such a lovely day out,and Pam you are so right there is nothing to beat having true friends,they are to be treasured forever.
Grannie G, may I call you Sylvia, do have another go at dancing. Even if you only dance around your own living room, I have been doing this,all afternoon,trying to get some sort of co-ordination.
Without much success I might add. I will keep on trying, so as not to look too out of place next week.

Best regards Jade,xxx

 

[loneyjade]

Well, hubbies birthday has arrived, its today. To be honest with you all I do not know how I feel, sort of numb inside and I feel so empty and hungry,yet cannot face the thought of food. Apart from going to visit the garden of rest, I have nothing else planned. Family are coming to tea, and I bought a Chinese Lantern as was suggested by a poster.Sorry just cannot recall your name, but you will know who you are,thank you for the idea. How do I fill my day.I will clean the house yet again,the dog is moulting, so I am hoovering every few hours. Poor doggie can`t help it,I do groom her daily but too no avail, her hairs keep falling out.
I know it is a old cliche, but I do talk to her, and yes, I do believe she understands every word I say. She has become a great comfort to me.
Sorry for rattling on so,but this also is a comfort to be able too unburden my thoughts.

Kindest regards Jade,xxx.

 

[Grannie G]

It`s a sentimental day for you today Jade so allow yourself the sentiments. Think of good memories.
Love xx

 

[Skye]

Jade, all you can do is be good to yourself. Try to remember the good times, and do whatever feels right for you. There's no right or wrong way to remember.

Tomorrow will be our wedding anniversary, it would have bee 15 years. I expect I'll feel pretty much as you do, though in my case it will be more packing!

Love,

 

[loneyjade]

The day passed well. I met a lovely lady at the garden of rest,who was there laying flowers for her own hubby.We had a good chat and also a good laugh. This lady had a great outlook on life and it sort of rub off on me. I left feeling a lot better. Family arrived and with the weather being so nice ,we ate our tea sitting in the garden which was so pleasant. A lot of reminiscing of days gone by took place, which I have to say brought on more laughter,and yes a few tears. Certainly not the day I was expecting it to be, and this was a good way to remember my dear hubby.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Jade

What a positive Post. Isn`t it strange how something dreaded can turn out so much better than expected.
You have a good family supporting you.

 

[loneyjade]

Not a good day for me yesterday,nor will it be for some time I think. My lovely dog has gone,took her to the vets because I could see that over the 4 previous days,she had started to bloat and was not passing "water" as she should.They were very good with her,they did two hours of tests and examinations with her. It was not to be,given her age, she was turned 14yrs old I was advised to leaves her with them. This I just could not do,so I stayed with her. She had gone before the vet withdraw the syringe. I do not envy them this part of their job.
So,went home alone to an empty house,where I cried all the day and night, and was still crying this morning. That is, until my youngest grand son arrived on his way to school, and said , never mind nan you can borrow our "Bonnie" if you want, she will keep you happy. This made me feel so much better.
I do not think I will have another dog,am to old now to start house training, and you become so attached to them that, your heart is broken when they go.

Regards Jade.xx

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Jade.

It seems so unfair that at a time in your life when you need a trusted pet more than ever, it is taken from you and you feel too old to start again.