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Living with Mother with Alzheimers

Iscamaid

New member
May 22, 2020
3
This is the first forum I've ever been near, so forgive me if I do it wrong.

My mother was diagnosed in August 2019, although I suspected she had problems for many years before that. She struggled on until I decided she should move in with me, she did in July 2019.

I work part-time (pre furlough) due to having M.S. I arranged carer's to help her when I was at work but of course on 23rd March all the doors slammed shut and I was on my own.
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,786
leicester
Hello @Iscamaid and welcome to DTP
my advice is to contact the Care Provider and see if you can get the care package reinstated the people I know of who depend on carers visits are still getting them.
I hope now you have found the forum you will continue to post it’s a friendly and supportive place to be
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
400
Hello @Iscamaid . How is it going looking after your mum without care visits? Is your mum able to do things for herself? Please post with any concerns you have, or just to say how you are feeling. There is lots of experience and advice from friendly people for you here.
 

Iscamaid

New member
May 22, 2020
3
Hiya, sorry for delay I had password issues (makes a change from anger )
I can't lie, a few times I thought there were only 2 possible outcomes, murder or suicide!!
I'd have a good weep and pull myself together.
Luckily Mother can dress herself, wash herself. But the constant repeating and accusing got to me a few times. I slammed a lot of doors.
With the easing of lockdown I can spend a few hours at the golf course with the help from my neighbour who sits with mother in the road, we live in the cul-de-sac.
No prospect of work restarting yet, or the care system helping (Age UK)
Mother moved in with me July 19 and I've not had more than 6 hours respite in that time. I have a brother who lives 30 seconds away but he is useless.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,861
South coast
No prospect of work restarting yet, or the care system helping (Age UK)
No, Age UK closed and is not yet re-opened. I know because I had a home help from them who did housework. What did you get Age UK to do? Actual care agencies are still running, though, because OH has carers come in to help him shower and dress. They will do other things as well, so it might be worthwhile asking a care agency about it anyway.
 

Rob_E

Registered User
Feb 1, 2015
191
Liverpool
It's a very stressful situation and its been very much intensified by the current lockdown situation. In addition to getting practical help for your mum, it's important to get help for your own mental well being Speaking from experience, personal well being issues can gradually creep on you in an almost stealth like manner when you are busy caring for someone. There are many different resources available, your GP is often a good starting point. They can refer you for counselling and prescribe medication that can help, there are services that are still available over the telephone or via video such as skype.
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
81
London
This is the first forum I've ever been near, so forgive me if I do it wrong.

My mother was diagnosed in August 2019, although I suspected she had problems for many years before that. She struggled on until I decided she should move in with me, she did in July 2019.

I work part-time (pre furlough) due to having M.S. I arranged carer's to help her when I was at work but of course on 23rd March all the doors slammed shut and I was on my own.
We had a 6 day carer pre lockdown then 19 march no more as carer showed signs of covid. Me and hubby have been looking after MIL as we live with her. I'm currently on sick leave as I cannot cope with my job and look after MIL. she's in her late stage of alzheimer's dementia. Double incontinence. Need assistance getting to and fro from bed. It's really hard. No carer. Hardly any respite too