Living alone with Alzheimer's Disease

[Blueberry_Mich]

Hi all, my husbands' aunty is 90 and diagnosed with Alz disease approx 2 years ago. At the same time an MRI identified a number of mini strokes had previously occurred. I can see as the weeks go by how her symptoms are progressing. She has social services attending to her twice a day, plus family members / friends visiting most days. One family member stays with her one or two nights a week most weeks. Even with all this support, she still thinks she hasn't seen anyone all week, so while she benefits from visits in the moment, it's quickly lost to her. She phones us frequently (day and night) when she can't find something, or is worried about something, or wants to know what time it is, or wants to know why we haven't come around when we said we would - even though it's 2am, etc. She often gets up and dresses in the middle of the night then goes back to bed a few hours later in all her clothes. She is often distressed and needs reassurance about things.
She has started to need antibiotics for one thing or another (chest infection, cellulitis). We've accepted that at some point she will likely need to move into a care home.
I really don't know how much longer she can continue to live alone (for her safety and happiness, as well as we as a family are reaching the point where we have no more to give), so just looking for some advice on what signs we should be looking for that we might be reaching that point. Thanks for reading x

 

[Blueberry_Mich]

Sorry - I've just realised I've posted this in the wrong bit of the forum.

 

[Kevinl]

Hi Mich, welcome to the forum.
If you think this is posted in the wrong place I'm sure the site staff can move if for you, I see what you've said as introducing yourself and your situation, so as I say welcome from me. K

 

[Sirena]

It sounds as if she has reached the stage where she needs someone with her 24/7, so would be better off in a care home. My mother lived alone and got to that stage - she had carers in for five hours a day but there was a lot of time when she was alone and and became distressed. She was actually a lot happier when she moved to the care home and there were staff there constantly to help and reassure her.

It is never an easy decision to make but it is worth starting to think about how that could be achieved.

 

[SherwoodSue]

Hello.

Sounds like this lady has several family members involved in her care. Does anyone hold POA?

I really hope you all stay on the same page when it comes to decisions about the present arrangements and residential care in the future. It’s so much easier if all are in agreement.

Bottom line is aunts safety

If she becomes unsafe in her own home because of falls or because she goes outside alone then that’s a red flag.

You may find that one of these many infections hospitalises aunty and then big decisions have to be made before she is allowed to return home. That is often the first trigger for residential care for assessment at least.

Wishing you well

 

[Blueberry_Mich]

Hi Mich, welcome to the forum.
If you think this is posted in the wrong place I'm sure the site staff can move if for you, I see what you've said as introducing yourself and your situation, so as I say welcome from me. K

Thank you for your reply

 

[Blueberry_Mich]

It sounds as if she has reached the stage where she needs someone with her 24/7, so would be better off in a care home. My mother lived alone and got to that stage - she had carers in for five hours a day but there was a lot of time when she was alone and and became distressed. She was actually a lot happier when she moved to the care home and there were staff there constantly to help and reassure her.

It is never an easy decision to make but it is worth starting to think about how that could be achieved.

Thanks for your reply Sirena. I think you're right - she is distressed and needs a lot of reassurance. I think she would be happier in herself with 24/7 care.

 

[Blueberry_Mich]

Hello.

Sounds like this lady has several family members involved in her care. Does anyone hold POA?

I really hope you all stay on the same page when it comes to decisions about the present arrangements and residential care in the future. It’s so much easier if all are in agreement.

Bottom line is aunts safety

If she becomes unsafe in her own home because of falls or because she goes outside alone then that’s a red flag.

You may find that one of these many infections hospitalises aunty and then big decisions have to be made before she is allowed to return home. That is often the first trigger for residential care for assessment at least.

Wishing you well

 

[Blueberry_Mich]

Hi and thank you for your reply. Yes my husband and another relative both have POA thankfully. We have had a few safety concerns in recent months, such as something warming in the microwave for far too long and creating smoke through the whole house, and we've found teabags in the kettle this week. She is becoming more unsteady on her feet too. I think most of the family will be onboard. We are going on holiday in a couple of days so I think we'll be arranging a family meeting when we return.

 

[SherwoodSue]

Hi and thank you for your reply. Yes my husband and another relative both have POA thankfully. We have had a few safety concerns in recent months, such as something warming in the microwave for far too long and creating smoke through the whole house, and we've found teabags in the kettle this week. She is becoming more unsteady on her feet too. I think most of the family will be onboard. We are going on holiday in a couple of days so I think we'll be arranging a family meeting when we return.

That’s good to hear. This aren’t easy decisions but so much better where there is agreement