Since so many of us are struggling with having just put loved ones into care, or are thinking about and dreading it, I've put a recommendation on the Resource board for an excellent book called Letting Go Without Giving UP.
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/TalkingPoint/discuss/showpost.php?p=95105&postcount=25
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/TalkingPoint/discuss/showpost.php?p=95105&postcount=25