Once more, thanks to all who have responded to me (Should I feed her?) so lovingly and caringly, in spite of your own difficult and emotional circumstances in many cases.
I realise that a very long, sad, disturbing and stressful chapter of my life has come to an end, leaving me with a mixture of grief, relief, even anger at times though I can see no point in letting any of this get out of hand.
A new chapter has begun.
I miss my wife terribly at times, but have already set myself the task of finding a new direction to take. Until now everything revolved around her, but not any more. It's a vacuum that simply has to be filled, preferably with something positive.
You may find my first step unusual, but before she went into care just over a couple of months ago, I would be busy around the house often talking to myself, partly to keep up some kind of conversation - mostly one sided, and partly to put my thoughts into action. (At times my wife might ask what I was saying and I told her I was just thinking out loud to myself). But it now occurs to me that I could go on doing this, instead of talking to myself but to Elsie my departed wife. Sounds daft, but it helps, and it kind of makes sense. If I could talk to myself, why not now to her - who am I to say that she is not listening? I talked to her as she lay dying to help herself and myself get through the ordeal, so its not a lot diferent, and it's along the lines of those who I have read saying they go into another room to swear when the going got tough, just to ease their feelings.
I actually feel better now for having the odd "one-sided-chat" but I must just make sure that I don't do so when in company, or will get some strange looks!
Love to all
Bill
I realise that a very long, sad, disturbing and stressful chapter of my life has come to an end, leaving me with a mixture of grief, relief, even anger at times though I can see no point in letting any of this get out of hand.
A new chapter has begun.
I miss my wife terribly at times, but have already set myself the task of finding a new direction to take. Until now everything revolved around her, but not any more. It's a vacuum that simply has to be filled, preferably with something positive.
You may find my first step unusual, but before she went into care just over a couple of months ago, I would be busy around the house often talking to myself, partly to keep up some kind of conversation - mostly one sided, and partly to put my thoughts into action. (At times my wife might ask what I was saying and I told her I was just thinking out loud to myself). But it now occurs to me that I could go on doing this, instead of talking to myself but to Elsie my departed wife. Sounds daft, but it helps, and it kind of makes sense. If I could talk to myself, why not now to her - who am I to say that she is not listening? I talked to her as she lay dying to help herself and myself get through the ordeal, so its not a lot diferent, and it's along the lines of those who I have read saying they go into another room to swear when the going got tough, just to ease their feelings.
I actually feel better now for having the odd "one-sided-chat" but I must just make sure that I don't do so when in company, or will get some strange looks!
Love to all
Bill