It is two weeks on Wednesday since my mum moved into a carehome. I know she is happy because she tells me she is, the carers say she has settled in really well and when I have visited her (3 times so far) she repeatedly says how lovely everyone is and what a nice room she is. She even said, last time, " I live here now" which was great!
However... the last couple of times I have visited her and when it was time for me to go she got really clingy -the first time looking very confused, muttering something about how was she going to get "home" if I left her?
The care assistants have reassured me that, just as when you leave your toddlers at nursery, a few seconds after you leave, they have forgotten you and are fine, so it is the same with my mother, so I am not overly concerned on that score. BUT -I am unsure how best to "leave" her when I next go, to minimise the scene, and it has been preying on my mind since my last visit yesterday. The carers suggested not saying I was just off to the toilet or nipping down the corridor because she might go looking for me and get confused as to where I had gone. They told me to simply say I have to go back to work and will be back very soon - and then to go quickly and they will distract her. I did this yesterday and as I was walking out (briskly) one of the carers (whom my mum says is lovely!) was taking her by the arm and asking her to help her with another lady who was a bit upset (a love lie) but as she was leading my mother away, I heard my mum distressed saying No! No!
I suppose I have to believe the carers when they say she soon forgets me and is easily distracted. I can't peer in through the window to check as I did with my children at nursery, because she's on the first floor
However... the last couple of times I have visited her and when it was time for me to go she got really clingy -the first time looking very confused, muttering something about how was she going to get "home" if I left her?
The care assistants have reassured me that, just as when you leave your toddlers at nursery, a few seconds after you leave, they have forgotten you and are fine, so it is the same with my mother, so I am not overly concerned on that score. BUT -I am unsure how best to "leave" her when I next go, to minimise the scene, and it has been preying on my mind since my last visit yesterday. The carers suggested not saying I was just off to the toilet or nipping down the corridor because she might go looking for me and get confused as to where I had gone. They told me to simply say I have to go back to work and will be back very soon - and then to go quickly and they will distract her. I did this yesterday and as I was walking out (briskly) one of the carers (whom my mum says is lovely!) was taking her by the arm and asking her to help her with another lady who was a bit upset (a love lie) but as she was leading my mother away, I heard my mum distressed saying No! No!
I suppose I have to believe the carers when they say she soon forgets me and is easily distracted. I can't peer in through the window to check as I did with my children at nursery, because she's on the first floor