Last stages of dementia

[Oriana]

Hi
My name is oriana and my mom has late stages of dementia
I’m an only child and I with a nanny are taking care of mom
It’s horrible to watch her die slowly infront of my eyes
I feel helpless cause I don’t know what else to do to help her
She is in my home on palliative care
She lived with us for 20 years since my dad passed do I didn’t feel right about putting her in a hospice
I’m reading info on the last stages
I’ve spoken to the nurses snd palliative care dr but I feel I should be going more
Does anyone have advice for me ?
Thank u

 

[canary]

Hello @Oriana and welcome to the forum

Caring for someone with dementia is unbelievably hard and Im sorry to hear about your mom. I watched my mum die from dementia and it is neither quick, nor pretty. In fact, I would use the word "harrowing" to describe it. My mum was in a care home and had professionals looking after her, washing and turning her, advising on mouth care and pressure sores, and making decisions about painkillers etc. She was on a syringe driver for the last days so her passing was peaceful and pain-free. I do not think I could have done it myself at home, even with carers and nurses coming in.

I am in UK and Im guessing that you are in US. Provision for care is quite different between the two counties - we have care/nursing homes instead of hospices and I dont know what care provision there is for care at home, nor how you would access it, where you are. I do wonder, though, why you are so against using a hospice? When mum was in her care home I did not have to worry about doing her care - I could become her daughter again and just focus on being there for her.

Ido hope you manage to sort something for your mom
(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))