Keeping in contact while OH in lockdown

cuppatea

Registered User
Oct 28, 2016
417
0
South Wales
Thus is such a difficult time for all of us. Like many my OH's care home has closed to visitors and it is hard. I try not to think that I may never see him alive again but that is possible. He was able to hesr what I was telling him last week, but couldn't believe it, he thought it wouldn't apply to him. I am glad the home has shut although I will miss him. The care staff are doing a brilliant in very difficult circumstances with extensive deep cleaning. They all have families, children, older relatives so they have a additional worry of taking infection in. I am sending in postcards with a few words in every couple of days just to let him know i
 

cuppatea

Registered User
Oct 28, 2016
417
0
South Wales
Hmm sent that before I finished. As I am self isolating I don't have a stock of cards so cutting up old birthday etc cards, anything bright really. Thought I'd share this, not much but it's something.
Just wishing us all strength. There are no answers and no fixed end but it will be months. Society is being turned on its head and life will not be the same again. I live in South Wales and usually hear planes high above to and from the States... No more. I feel for us all. Everyone of all ages is living with fear and uncertainty, worry about jobs, mortgages, entertaining children, dealing with stroppy teenagers etc. Our leaders are trying to steer us through it and bring us to the other side. Let's keep in virtual touch x
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,864
0
Today is a very strange day for me, my husband went into planned respite last weekend this is his fourth visit so he is well known and he knows the place well in return. I have asked to extend the stay, they are in lock down so I am writing love letters again. Today I will hopefully be told whether a bed is available this depends on whether a wing refurb is done.
When I kissed him goodbye, a thought sped through my mind, is this our last kiss, he looked so frail.
When he was in last time I gave him a card reminding him we are only a thought away.
So many of us are in the same position, love to you all.
 

Ernest

Registered User
Jan 23, 2018
112
0
I'm in a similar position. My OH with FTD is obsessed with my visits. I have to write down in a diary my visits every other day. He just sits and waits for the day to come. He refuses to join in anything but does watch TV or stays in bed. My last visit last Sunday was difficult as I had to explain that I wouldn't be coming in again for a while. He understands what is going on and is concerned for my safety. I did phone him and it was so lovely to hear him. He sounded fine!! I think it's worse for us OH'S as we are not able to forget time !! With FTD, sufferers don't usually forget people, but I'm worried that if it last 3 months, he may forget me! Hopefully the phonecalls I will make every other day will help. Who knows, perhaps this enforced absence will wean us off each other which could be better for him, making him less anxious. As others said, it's all just so horrible and I add my love to everyone going through this. Xx
 

cuppatea

Registered User
Oct 28, 2016
417
0
South Wales
Thank you Grannie for the message. Ernest it's so hard. Sadly my OH can't hear or understand well enough for the phone. One of the carers is going to try a video call with him next week. Will be good to see his face. He sits in his own room and watches TV, doesn't want to do anything else. They tell me he is OK, I hope so.
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
3,994
0
south-east London
Sending in cards is such a lovely idea @cuppatea. A gentleman I know is currently separated from his wife while she is being assessed in a secure unit. He is unable to visit her due to the lock-down and he is feeling quite lost. I will suggest he sends in cards/postcards too - I think it will help both of them and I know the staff will put the cards up on the wall in her room.

Thanks for the idea :)
 

Bezzy1946

Registered User
Jul 18, 2017
43
0
74
Watford
Totally agree with the others. That is a lovely idea
My husband is in a Residential Home as he has dementia and keeps falling over. He wears two hearing aids so is really bad on the phone. I am hoping the home has explained what is happening. I sent him a card and tried to explain why me and our four children haven’t been to see him. Hope he doesn’t forget us - feel really sad !!
 

Ernest

Registered User
Jan 23, 2018
112
0
So relieved! I phoned CH today and spoke to my OH. He sounded fine. After a short conversation he said " well, see you when I see you" and that was it! After all my anxiety so far it's ok. Just one other funny thing. I work part time in a supermarket !! I was telling him about the panic buying and how awful some of the customers can be to us staff. I said that they were being restricted to 3 of each product but we were kept very busy keeping the shelves stocked. He said we should "smack their hands" if they try taking more!! So lovely to hear him say something humourous!! Xx
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
3,994
0
south-east London
I am so glad to hear that you had that chat and that your mind has been put at rest a bit now @Ernest - it must be a big relief. It was lovely that your husband's sense of humour shone through during that chat too :)
 

Ernest

Registered User
Jan 23, 2018
112
0
I am so glad to hear that you had that chat and that your mind has been put at rest a bit now @Ernest - it must be a big relief. It was lovely that your husband's sense of humour shone through during that chat too :)
Too true!! Thank you so much xx
 

LynneMcV

Volunteer Moderator
May 9, 2012
3,994
0
south-east London
My husband is in a Residential Home as he has dementia and keeps falling over. He wears two hearing aids so is really bad on the phone. I am hoping the home has explained what is happening. I sent him a card and tried to explain why me and our four children haven’t been to see him. Hope he doesn’t forget us - feel really sad !!

It must be very distressing @Bezzy1946 . I remember that, when my husband was in an assessment unit for a couple of months, I was worried sick that he might forget me - and I didn't even have these horrible visiting restrictions to battle with. In fact I was there every day.

I am sure the staff will play a huge role in helping keep that connection going though. I know that, when I was not around, the staff would look through photo albums I'd taken in and use the 'This is me' info I had provided about my husband's family, culture , likes and dislikes - it all helped to keep the connection going.