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Just when I thought it was sorted out!


Registered User
Jul 20, 2015
Well, it just goes to show that it really isn't over until the fat lady sings! Following a fall, Mum was admitted to hospital and after a couple of weeks of seeing her behaviour and her night-time wanderings they decided to send her for respite to a care home. Because we're waiting for a dementia diagnosis I was told that it would be best to put her into a dementia home rather than a standard residential home. As I live 200 miles away I was sent three choices by email from Social Services and I had to pick the one that I thought was suitable. Of the three, one had £25 per week top-up fees which I can't afford, one didn't have a website so the Social Services lady didn't really know anything about it, so I chose the third one which looked ok and I was so relieved that the situation had been sorted or so I thought! When I went to see Mum in the home at the weekend I realised it's totally unsuitable for her, the other residents suffer from severe dementia and Mum has no-one to talk to. There's an activity co-ordinator but obviously she has to cater for everyone, and the staff are too busy to spend any significant time with Mum. Anyway I decided to look around for another care home, found one which looked much better and went to have a look around and meet the manager. It's really good, I felt very comfortable with the organisation and the staff and arranged for the manager to do an assessment today. I then drove home yesterday and rang Social Services to tell them of my decision. They are now saying that Mum is in the residential section of the dementia home, and did I realise that the new home is dementia only and is more expensive. I'm now in an argument with SS because the original Social Worker has left (very suddenly it seems!) and the new Social Worker is disputing the information that I have been given, ie she feels Mum should be in residential care. Mum doesn't have any savings so she isn't privately funded, but I don't know what rights I have as to where she is placed? If she continues in the home where she is, she will very soon end up like the other residents because at the moment she's in the early stages and needs the stimulation of conversation. She's gone from living at home alone, talking to no-one, to living in a care home with lots of people but still having no-one to talk to because everyone else is at much later stages of dementia. I know it's only respite at the moment but realistically I can't see her going home again. I don't know what to do but I can see I'm going to have a fight on my hands. Sorry for the rant but I'm a bit stressed at the moment!


Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
North East
Can you not see if you can find a home locally to you that is suitable? I'm taking it that she is not actually going to return home?? There are issues doing this such as sorting out payments but this can be done. I'm sure others on here will let you know how xxxx


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
If you are in hospital and go into a CH following this you generally get 6 weeks respite/reablement followed by a "Best "interest" meeting to decide what happens next. Possible outcomes are that she could go home with a care package, stay in the present CH, or a decision that she needs to be in a CH but the present one is not right for her and she needs to be moved. I am assuming that she has not yet had a "best interest" meeting.

AS she is not self-funding then I think you are going to have to work with the SW on the best place for you mum to be. I think the problem with the new home that you are looking at is that as it is more expensive you would have to pay top-up fees.

If the CH that your mum is in has different sections is there any chance that she could be moved into the general section? That way she would have other people around her who are more on her level and she could be moved into the dementia unit once her dementia progresses.

edit to say that suzy has a point - are you thinking of moving her closer to you?
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