@soguilty thank you. Yes so relateable - if she had even one friend here that would help, but there is always something not right. I know why, it's because she feel she is superior, and had led a charmed life, cannot relate to anyone really. Also, she too thinks some things are 'working class' and watches Easternders avidly nightly, I think she likes the drama and the life that was so different to hers. Like your mum, she will never tell anyone about wonderful things where she had fun, especially with me - this can be trips to the national trust, walks etc. Unless it was her idea, she will not enjoy it at least with us. But if my sibling takes her to the pub for half an hour, it will have been incredile and amazing, so lovely... sigh. It is as if her life with us is the life of a prisoner, because most times she will say no to whatever we are doing, and rarely enjoy when she does agree to come with us. I accept some of that is not wanting to encroach on our family time, but when we ask we are genuinely happy to have her with us. Esp as otherwise she will sit and read for literally 6 or 7 hour a day, then complain of trapped nerves, sore back etc. And get pinned back ears if you suggest she take a little walk, not read for so long etc.
One of the care homes have at least one room available, so I asked to call them earlier to arrange what suits her. Again pinned back ears, but I am hopeful it will work out so we have a week to ourselves. I wish it did not have to come to me pushing like this, and that she would use the time to make calls and pop to some of these places, for something to do if nothing else. But I realise the comfort here is easier than pulling that thread as to her it means 'the end' I am sure.
So lovely your daughter recognises what happens, I hope to have a relationship with my son as he grows up that is very open and not what I experienced. He starts at a new school this year and it will be a whole new and hard stage for him, loss of friends etc. I recall my maternal grandparents being so interested in me, and so kind, at times like that, and it galls me that this is not avaiable to him from mum. He does get some connection from his paternal grandmother, but she is the kind that is super busy all the time and doesn't relate to kids at all (think someone that has not 1 spare item of clothing for him, and wouldn't even consider sun lotion). But when he was small she helped alot, I think because she did not with her own son, but that is a whole nother story as they say.
In essence this kind of thing takes generations to heal from, and I am sure you too are applying things you learned with your relationship with your daughter etc. Motherhood has really made me realise what should be natural, and what should not, at least from my point of view. I literally had a very spiritual experience when my son was born that I don't think I could even describe with our normal human words, a feeling that will never leave me. To sum it up very rudimentarily, that this is what I was born for, that he came from the universe to me directly and it was always meant to be.
One of the care homes have at least one room available, so I asked to call them earlier to arrange what suits her. Again pinned back ears, but I am hopeful it will work out so we have a week to ourselves. I wish it did not have to come to me pushing like this, and that she would use the time to make calls and pop to some of these places, for something to do if nothing else. But I realise the comfort here is easier than pulling that thread as to her it means 'the end' I am sure.
So lovely your daughter recognises what happens, I hope to have a relationship with my son as he grows up that is very open and not what I experienced. He starts at a new school this year and it will be a whole new and hard stage for him, loss of friends etc. I recall my maternal grandparents being so interested in me, and so kind, at times like that, and it galls me that this is not avaiable to him from mum. He does get some connection from his paternal grandmother, but she is the kind that is super busy all the time and doesn't relate to kids at all (think someone that has not 1 spare item of clothing for him, and wouldn't even consider sun lotion). But when he was small she helped alot, I think because she did not with her own son, but that is a whole nother story as they say.
In essence this kind of thing takes generations to heal from, and I am sure you too are applying things you learned with your relationship with your daughter etc. Motherhood has really made me realise what should be natural, and what should not, at least from my point of view. I literally had a very spiritual experience when my son was born that I don't think I could even describe with our normal human words, a feeling that will never leave me. To sum it up very rudimentarily, that this is what I was born for, that he came from the universe to me directly and it was always meant to be.
