I have DNR for my OH. I certainly do not want resuscitation in case of heart attack or stroke. Everything else, in our case, is done on a case to case basis. So I have allowed antibiotics for his current infection. It's a discussion you need to have. But you can always change you mind!
Just a bit of advise about my dad would help
- Thread starter rowtalk
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I am glad your dad is getting better. Maybe your dad's bottom needs a rest ( the skin doctor prescribed it to my mom). I hope, as time go on, and pressure wound heals, that your father got better.
Sorry for gender mistake. Usually I don't pay attention on it ( I should, I know).
Had a call from the home yesterday dad had another fall, he is ok they say. I went to visit after work he was resting on top of the bed and had his top teeth in his hand blowing on them and making stamping impressions on his belly??
I told the nurse when she came in to give his medication she said "ok I think we need to give him another water test" oh no not again. Even though he is slightly better physically I am afraid mentally he is worse than before his last infections, I will go and see him again tomorrow and see if they have tested him again
I told the nurse when she came in to give his medication she said "ok I think we need to give him another water test" oh no not again. Even though he is slightly better physically I am afraid mentally he is worse than before his last infections, I will go and see him again tomorrow and see if they have tested him again
Hello Rowtalk - so sorry you are having such a frustrating and stressful time. Just wanted to ask, is your dad in a nursing home or does he has DN's visiting regularly to attend to his pressure sores? Also, does he have a pressure relieving mattress ? The nurses should provide this if not. Could the home provide a bed sensor so that staff can respond quickly if he tries to get out of bed?
Hi count2ten thank you for the reply. Yes dad is in a nursing home his pressure sore is now better the nurse told me, he also has a air matress, not too worried about that more worried about his mind, his constant falls and his reoccurring water infections as I have known him to be violent when he has a bad attack. Thanks again for replying
Glad to hear your dad is beginning to feel better. Also glad you have chatted to your brother about the DNR. It is an extremely personal and emotive decision to have to make. Both of my parents are in their 80's, I havnt heard of any dnr one way or another for either of them yet others in this area are having to go to their gps every 3 months to "do" the dnr. Maybe my parents are just not bothering.
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Hi rowtalk, sorry to read that your Dad continues to be so poorly - I wondered, when he was blowing on his teeth and standing his tummy could he have been saying he was hungry, thirsty? Repetitive UTI's are very common in the elderly and frail - I'm sure the NH staff are doing all they can to get Dad to drink as much as possible, liquidy type foods are also good - jelly, soup, etc.
With reference to the DNR I think a lot of people fear it as they think it means that their LO won't get treatment at all but it actually (or did with my Mum anyway) means that we just didn't want her resuscitated in the event of a heart attack/put on life support and so on - any infections/wounds/eating issues etc. were always fully treated - the DNR made absolutely no difference to any of that.
Thank you for the reply, I don't think that dad is hungry or thirsty as this was happening whilst he had his dinner and drink on the table in front of him, but I can see the logic in what you are saying. I am also sure that everyone is doing there best, but I am also sure that a lot of people would agree that you always think that no matter how good a care home is they never look after your loved ones the way you think you can look after them yourself. I went to see him again today as I took his hearing aids to the hospital to get looked at as they did not seem to be working, and I did not want him to go without his hearing aids for long as he starts to imagine what people are saying if he cannot hear them, and he was trying to get out of bed with the bed guard up as he keeps falling over, and I noticed the latest rather large bruise on his arm that he must have got when he fell over last time. We all worry I know about our loved one but when I have had my mum pass away in a residential home I was hoping that my dad would not have to suffer the same fate, but things do not always go to plan do they.
Thanks again for all your replies it really helps to know that there is someone who is listening
You are right, no one can ever take care of your loved one as well as you can. I've already said that if my dad was admitted to hospital I'd be on a z bed next to him. I'm sure in reality that wouldn't be allowed but you know what I mean.
Is your dad depressed? I'm wondering if his lack of eating and drinking is due to that or due to a progression of this awful disease. Small and often is a good way of getting someone who doesn't want to eat to get at least some food I to them. Have you tried any of the fortified drinks at all? He might like those and they would be great for him if he did. It is often said on here that as the disease progresses, sweet foods are what a sufferer will eat yet leave all the "good" stuff.
If your dad is not drinking well then this may well be contributing to the frequency of the urine infections too. If he doesn't take his tea with sugar, try a little bit in it and see if this changes anything. Worth a try at least.
I hope at least some of this helps. X
Is your dad depressed? I'm wondering if his lack of eating and drinking is due to that or due to a progression of this awful disease. Small and often is a good way of getting someone who doesn't want to eat to get at least some food I to them. Have you tried any of the fortified drinks at all? He might like those and they would be great for him if he did. It is often said on here that as the disease progresses, sweet foods are what a sufferer will eat yet leave all the "good" stuff.
If your dad is not drinking well then this may well be contributing to the frequency of the urine infections too. If he doesn't take his tea with sugar, try a little bit in it and see if this changes anything. Worth a try at least.
I hope at least some of this helps. X
Just to let you all know dad has been struck down with yet another water infection, here we go again!!!!!
But this was pointed out on Thursday and they did not pick it up properly until Saturday, so not too pleased about that, but at least it is being treated now.
But this was pointed out on Thursday and they did not pick it up properly until Saturday, so not too pleased about that, but at least it is being treated now.
Oh no! At least as you say, it is being treated now. Is the infection totally going do you think? Maybe ask if the frequency of these infections are normal.
Thank you again suzy for your reply.
I need to see the nurse properly, sometimes she is nowhere to be seen and if I leave a message sometimes it does not get passed.
I went to see dad again tonight, it seemed obvious that my brother (who goes to see him on a Sunday) did not go this week as he normally leaves him some water or biscuits that were not there.
He told me today that his stomach is swelling a bit and has a bit of a pain as he has had two big glasses of water and nothing is coming back out, now I am worried about that.
??????
Hi reading through all the posts one thing I did notice is you said the bed guards sides were up? I was led to believe that they cannot be up as it is classed as restraint if he is on his own because it is stopping him getting out of bed on his own. also it is a danger as he will try and get out and fall.
Thank you so very much for this advice, it's funny you should say that because when I went to see him on Friday to bring him his hearing aids back - he keeps having problems with them - he did have one leg over the guard trying to work out how to lower it. He is as you probably read self funding (and this is extremely expensive) I should really expect them to know this.
I will certainly bring this up when I next visit (Thursday), he was in bed when I saw him tonight also with the guard up, this has really annoyed me now.
Thank you
I have not managed to see the nurse that normally helps me, but i did go and see my dad last night after work, he was sitting in his chair, he looks clean and bright, he seems to have lost a bit of weight, but its really his mind that has not quite got to the stage where he was before his infections, but i remember someone saying that this is the case, so I will just go with the flow.
Thanks for all your replies and I will keep posting if anything new develops.
Rowtalk
Thanks for all your replies and I will keep posting if anything new develops.
Rowtalk
Thank you for your kind words.
Went to see dad today, he was in bed again 11.30am and his guard was up again????
There is a meeting with the manager on 24th June I think I will have to book the afternoon off to go along and see what they say about the bed guards.
The first thing he said was "We will have to get another bin"? I asked why he said "Because that one is full of blackfly"????? Then he proceeded to tell me how he makes home made wine - he used to make his own years ago. He said "Oh your (my name)" I thought great he remembers me then said I haven't seen you for a while - I go to see him 3 times a week the last time was Thursday? Oh well suppose that is normal!!!!
Hi
Me again, just been to see my dad it was obvious that he had just eaten his tea, whilst in bed and with the guard up??
He was fully clothed on his top half and asleep, I tried to wake him but he bearly opened his eyes and went back to sleep he was well out of it, I spoke to the carer who came in to take his plate away and she said that he hardly touched his breakfast and his fluid intake was low. She would get the nurse to talk to me, I spoke to the nurse and she said that he has loose stools and his fluid intake is a little low, he was fine this morning.
But I am worried that he seems to be constantly in bed with the guard up - he has had a few words with one of the other residents - I am wondering if they are trying to keep them apart, dad has a bit of a short fuse sometimes and he sometimes reverts to Latvian his mother tongue, but surly this is not enough to have to keep his guard up??
There is a coffee afternoon with residents/family and care home manager in June I think I will take an afternoon off and go along see what they have to say about it.
Thanks for all your advise
Me again, just been to see my dad it was obvious that he had just eaten his tea, whilst in bed and with the guard up??
He was fully clothed on his top half and asleep, I tried to wake him but he bearly opened his eyes and went back to sleep he was well out of it, I spoke to the carer who came in to take his plate away and she said that he hardly touched his breakfast and his fluid intake was low. She would get the nurse to talk to me, I spoke to the nurse and she said that he has loose stools and his fluid intake is a little low, he was fine this morning.
But I am worried that he seems to be constantly in bed with the guard up - he has had a few words with one of the other residents - I am wondering if they are trying to keep them apart, dad has a bit of a short fuse sometimes and he sometimes reverts to Latvian his mother tongue, but surly this is not enough to have to keep his guard up??
There is a coffee afternoon with residents/family and care home manager in June I think I will take an afternoon off and go along see what they have to say about it.
Thanks for all your advise
