My Mum was diagnosed with demntia 4 years ago, I was working overseas at the time & I agreed with my sisters request that she bought a house with my mum and that she would live with my mum to look after her. It took them some 3 years to find a house as my sister wouldn't compromise on the location - compromise has never been in her nature.
I came back a year ago to help out, with the house rennovation but things have not been good and little has been achieved, the situation is on a knife edge really.
Looking back I see my mum having started with dementia in her 50's some 20 years ago. I now see the early signs in my sister too so it is like living with two people with dementia. My sister hasn't been functioning for the best part of the last year and is extremely difficult to deal with. Totaly unrealistic in anything she says and the truth doesn't seem to matter.
While I have been away she has been accustomed to open access to my mums finances. She bought the house with a substanatial amount of my mums savings and contributed 10% herself. She continues to hoard all documents, claims to keep records of expenditure but won't share them.
My sister uses mums money for everything, bills, food, council tax, house expenses, petrol to go to work basically she doesn't spend a single penny of her own money. She doesn't even buy her own shampoo.
This has clearly been going on for some time, the agreement was she bought a house and looked after mum but her main focus has been on finding a live in carer with seemingly her continuing to live for free.
My sister will just cash in mums savings and gets mum to sign the docs when she runs out of cash, will never consult me and just casually mention it like that makes it ok. We talked about setting up power of attorney and I did all the paperwork but my sister won't agree to it unless it is entirely in her name not me included for both medical and financial
I wouldn't have too much of a problem with this setup as it would allow me to continue living my life which is what I know my mum would have wanted. The house location is exactly where and what my sister wanted - I have no connection here. But my sister is truly a horrible human being.
So my questions are surely there must be some kind of laws to stop this from happening? We are just two siblings. Where should I be looking.
I can't trust my sister anymore - ask the same question each week and get a different answer.
I also have an issue with my car, when I went overseas I left my car on my mums drive. My mum already had dementia at the time so insisted I left the V5 ownership document in case the police turned up. The fact we have the same surname didn't matter due to the dementia.
While I was away my sister took the V5 from my mother switched the car into her name & now claims ownership of my car and has been driving it for the last few years. It was a new car at the time only 20k miles on the clock & I purchased it from new. I still keep the original purchase documents. She won't even pay the fuel for this car.
My sister essentially claims ownership of everything, even the whole house. She even says I should move out but 90% is my mums house as I think she sees me as a hinderence stopping her from doing as she pleases. I don't want to stay here but I want to find a long term solution for my mum that works & I don't want to leave her in the hands of my sister who has basically claimed the whole house and sees my mum as an inconvenience.
My mums side of the family have seen what is going on - it isn't me in isolation. But they are too old also know to act but are understandably livid.
I would appreciate any help, guidance/clarifaction and legal clarification on how this matter should be handled. Part of the reason I am unable to fight back is because I don't know the law & if she is even allowed to be doing what she is doing & if she could actually throw me out of my mums house.
The care is a separate issue on its own.
I came back a year ago to help out, with the house rennovation but things have not been good and little has been achieved, the situation is on a knife edge really.
Looking back I see my mum having started with dementia in her 50's some 20 years ago. I now see the early signs in my sister too so it is like living with two people with dementia. My sister hasn't been functioning for the best part of the last year and is extremely difficult to deal with. Totaly unrealistic in anything she says and the truth doesn't seem to matter.
While I have been away she has been accustomed to open access to my mums finances. She bought the house with a substanatial amount of my mums savings and contributed 10% herself. She continues to hoard all documents, claims to keep records of expenditure but won't share them.
My sister uses mums money for everything, bills, food, council tax, house expenses, petrol to go to work basically she doesn't spend a single penny of her own money. She doesn't even buy her own shampoo.
This has clearly been going on for some time, the agreement was she bought a house and looked after mum but her main focus has been on finding a live in carer with seemingly her continuing to live for free.
My sister will just cash in mums savings and gets mum to sign the docs when she runs out of cash, will never consult me and just casually mention it like that makes it ok. We talked about setting up power of attorney and I did all the paperwork but my sister won't agree to it unless it is entirely in her name not me included for both medical and financial
I wouldn't have too much of a problem with this setup as it would allow me to continue living my life which is what I know my mum would have wanted. The house location is exactly where and what my sister wanted - I have no connection here. But my sister is truly a horrible human being.
So my questions are surely there must be some kind of laws to stop this from happening? We are just two siblings. Where should I be looking.
I can't trust my sister anymore - ask the same question each week and get a different answer.
I also have an issue with my car, when I went overseas I left my car on my mums drive. My mum already had dementia at the time so insisted I left the V5 ownership document in case the police turned up. The fact we have the same surname didn't matter due to the dementia.
While I was away my sister took the V5 from my mother switched the car into her name & now claims ownership of my car and has been driving it for the last few years. It was a new car at the time only 20k miles on the clock & I purchased it from new. I still keep the original purchase documents. She won't even pay the fuel for this car.
My sister essentially claims ownership of everything, even the whole house. She even says I should move out but 90% is my mums house as I think she sees me as a hinderence stopping her from doing as she pleases. I don't want to stay here but I want to find a long term solution for my mum that works & I don't want to leave her in the hands of my sister who has basically claimed the whole house and sees my mum as an inconvenience.
My mums side of the family have seen what is going on - it isn't me in isolation. But they are too old also know to act but are understandably livid.
I would appreciate any help, guidance/clarifaction and legal clarification on how this matter should be handled. Part of the reason I am unable to fight back is because I don't know the law & if she is even allowed to be doing what she is doing & if she could actually throw me out of my mums house.
The care is a separate issue on its own.