1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Weds 28 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 28 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Loulou60

    Loulou60 New member

    Jun 24, 2019
    4
    Good afternoon,
    There are times when my fathers Alzheimer's provided amazingly funny moments before he died and we fondly remember him by recalling stories of the funniest things he said. Whenever I visited him he would ask 'how is your job?' I had been self employed for nearly 20 years but he always asked and I always replied 'Fine, dad.' Lunch was something always on his mind. He would ask for a Jam sandwich for lunch shortly after breakfast and by 11am he had usually had a couple of sandwiches. Within minutes he would ask for a jam sandwich again as he had forgotten eating the previous one. My dad had the biggest laugh in the world and when we told him he had just eaten his jam sandwich he would bellow with laughter and hold up his empty plate full of crumbs. It wasn't all misery when he was ill but we choose to remember the funny, charming, often alarming things he said and did. Most of all we laugh at him being banned from Sainsbury's for repeatedly going in and buying the same things he already had in his bag and the constant 'hypo's' he seemed to suffer whenever he got there - he had diabetes too. They got pretty fed up with his visits. I think he sometimes actually enjoyed winding up the staff but they were always wonderful with him. He would often forget to put on his shoes or go out in his dressing gown. There were moments of horror too - he would stop at green lights and go on red at crossings until we took his keys off him. The anger he displayed was the worst we had to suffer - lashing out unexpectedly, but we never remember the bad times, only the funny ones.
     
  2. Susan11

    Susan11 Registered User

    Nov 18, 2018
    1,468
    Your father sounds like a really lovely man . I also remember my Dad with affection. He used to say we made a good team . It's good to look back at the happy times .
    Best wishes
    Susan
     
  3. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,470
    @Loulou Turner Your dad sounds like a bundle of laughs and my dad is the same. I always say if you have to care for a person with dementia then you would choose my dad, he's lovely, same old personality as always, still kind and considerate and always polite and he has an answer for everything. Honestly he is amazing.

    He has a ten second memory, repeats himself over and over again but he has such a good sense of humour and is so quick witted that he gets away with it. I have read so many horror stories on here that sometimes I wonder if my dad has the same disease because he is not really any trouble at all except that he can't be left on his own for any length of time just in case.

    It is so nice to hear of a positive side to dementia and how some good memories can be made. I have mostly good memories of dad apart from his hospital stay but that is in the past and it can stay in the past.

    Apparently dad has a minder, it's me and that makes me important which is nice.
     
  4. Stripey3

    Stripey3 Registered User

    May 29, 2019
    21
    @Loulou Turner
    It’s so nice to be reminded that there are funny moments that accompany this awful, cruel disease.
    Reading your post has prompted me to think about keeping a diary of those funny moments and conversations to look back on.
    So sorry for your loss.
    Very best wishes
     
  5. Loulou60

    Loulou60 New member

    Jun 24, 2019
    4
    Thank you Susan, yes he was a brilliant, funny man. Luckily the disease didn't remove that even until his last minutes. As he was taken off to hospital, while taking his last breaths, he did a thumbs up. A sad but happy death if that is possible.
     
  6. Loulou60

    Loulou60 New member

    Jun 24, 2019
    4
    Hi Duggies Girl, I wonder if having that humour throughout their lives, like your father and mine, is the one aspect of their character that isn't wiped out by disease. There were some grindingly awful moments while my father was ill, but the over-riding memory is the huge laughs we had both at and with him. He didn't mind a bit that we chuckled over some of his 'moments'. My brother had the blessing to be with him till his last moments and I have always been jealous of his ability to stop his life to look after him and be there for him. Hospitals!! don't even get me on that subject... my dad was put in a psychiatric unit for a couple of weeks - gruelling, painful, seeringly awful, a place staffed with people more bonkers than he ever was and inept with his medication. It took a ton of money, solicitors and an application to the court to get him removed from that disgusting place. I'm sure I'm not alone in my still burning indignation even some years later.
     
  7. Loulou60

    Loulou60 New member

    Jun 24, 2019
    4
    Hi Stripey, yes definitely keep a diary! I wish I had.
     

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