Thank you everyone for your kind messages.
It seems out of all of us, I am the one who has taken Nans passing the least worst so far as I'm wondering if this is normal?
So I was upset for an hour or two after I learned of Nans passing, but since then, bar the odd teary moment over the last few days, I feel OK. I have not lost my appetite (which I thought I would, as going through other types of grief in my life, the appetite is the first to go)
I feel relived and calm, but fairly tired. I'm a little concerned that I am not showing much emotion.
I don't feel like I am in shock.
Is this normal?
This is the first time I have lost someone close to me so I have nothing to compare it against.
During relationship breakups I find a loss of appetite and lots of tears, but no so with Nans passing.
I'm not sure that there is any 'normal' with grief to be honest.... also with a progressive condition like a dementia, we as families have much time where we actively grieve for the person we are losing bit by bit whilst they are still here. I think maybe we also grieve for the indignities they have to suffer, for how much they would hate their situation and, the worst for me (and my Dad is still with us - in body at least), we grieve for them in fear that they may be feeling distress and fear.
So we do a lot of our grieving whilst our loved one is still here.
At the moment, and recently, you have been bravely able to share your Nan's experience on here and perhaps this has helped you to process some of your feelings too.
Please be kind to yourself and dont worry about what's normal.....whichever way you process your loss and move forward to adjust to life without your Nan who you plainly love so much; will be right for *you*. It may ebb and flow gently, it may come like a storm and leave you battered, it may sneak up on you in memories, or a scent, or a feeling, it may leave you alone for a while and come when you are ready..... none of us can really know for sure.