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Its not just the things they say

lensgirl

Registered User
Jan 14, 2020
32
So today was another close call row with my nan. The very quick background is that we sold our house at the beginning of January and moved in with nan whilst our house purchase went through. Unfortunately we had to pull out due to the escalating repair costs that it looked like we would have needed to do. So, this means we have been sleeping on a mattress in her living room floor for 3 months (we put it up out of the way during the day). Since that time we had offers rejected on 3 houses and at the end of last month our dream house came back on the market and we snapped it up. Today nan starts having a go at me about why haven't we moved out and when I explained about solicitors she, without saying it, was calling me a liar because "she just moved straight in here and didnt have solicitors involved ". Obviously that's not true and I tried explaining it to her, but was just getting this look. It was probably nastier than the actual words coming out of her mouth. My husband could hear me trying to explain to her, so came in and as soon as he comes in she calms down. The words are bad enough but the looks are just as horrendous too
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,196
South coast
I honestly wouldnt bother trying to explain - it never seems to work, because they cannot follow the logic anymore. And telling them that they are wrong is a definite red rag to a bull. Your nan knows that she is right, so saying something different is almost bound to anger her.
Try agreeing with her; laugh and say you want to get into your own home as soon as possible too. Tell her its just a few more days and you will be gone.
 

lensgirl

Registered User
Jan 14, 2020
32
I didnt argue with her, I explained that we had to deal with solicitors and that everything with the virus means that we cant do anymore than we already have. Having read someone else's thread, I'm also convinced that she has sundowners which doesnt really help matters. Once she had spoken to my husband she was then busy telling me that when we move she has to move too to be close to me!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,196
South coast
I didnt say you argued with her, I was trying to explain it from her viewpoint. Im sure you just tried to explain calmly and rationally - but it doesnt work anymore. In her mind you were telling her something that she knows is wrong and were disagreeing with her (that you do actually need solicitors), so she got angry. Yes, sundowning wont help at all.
 

lensgirl

Registered User
Jan 14, 2020
32
No, it really doesnt. I think she also doesnt believe me that a lot of services are now shut, again that's usually by the look I get! We had an issue when she received the POA letter and I think she still believes we are trying to take her house from her, she even made a bit of a jokey comment of "I thought you are waiting for me to move out so you can stay here"
 

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