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Its done

Batsue

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
4,853
Scotland
After a nightmare weekend I have contacted our assessment officer and asked her to start the process of finding a care home for mum.
Mum was diagnosed over 5 years ago although she was showing signs for about 2 years before that.
We live in quite a remote area where help is almost impossible and it has now got to the stage where I feel that I can't continue in my caring role.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,938
South coast
Thats a big step @reedysue . Im sure its the right decision, but it will feel hard to you.
It will take you both a while to adjust
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,563
66
Toronto, Canada
@reedysue that's probably one of the hardest decisions you've ever made but unfortunately for nearly all of us, it's one we have had to make. You've done so well in carrying on for as long as you have.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
467
A big decision and one that none of us make lightly, take care of yourself
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,524
A big decision, but wise to get underway now rather than waiting for an emergency. Let's hope something is sorted soon. Stay strong.
 

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
45
After a nightmare weekend I have contacted our assessment officer and asked her to start the process of finding a care home for mum.
Mum was diagnosed over 5 years ago although she was showing signs for about 2 years before that.
We live in quite a remote area where help is almost impossible and it has now got to the stage where I feel that I can't continue in my caring role.
Hi there

I'm in a similar situation in a remote location, so have huge amounts of sympathy. My mum was in hospital and was gradually getting better. My dad has dementia and I've been caring for him while she was in. I was looking at a home care package for both but that depended on what she was like coming out of hospital. Sadly, she took a very sudden turn for the worst and passed away.

The only option now on the table is residential care. Dad's GP is clear that he won't be safe overnight or indeed for any significant length of time during the day.

Take care, Dave
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,816
Chester
I think you've been struggling with this decision for a while, so well done on making it.

Given your remoteness I'm assuming it will take time to find somewhere and hope you manage to cope in the meantime.
 

Louise83

Registered User
Feb 5, 2019
80
I made the same decision a couple of weeks ago, it is the hardest thing we will have to do as carers.
Mum this week has actually been better than she has in a long time which is making my guilt 10 times worse.
It is a long term decision though and not one we take lightly.

Good luck to you.
 

DaveCr1968

Registered User
Jul 5, 2020
45
Y
I made the same decision a couple of weeks ago, it is the hardest thing we will have to do as carers.
Mum this week has actually been better than she has in a long time which is making my guilt 10 times worse.
It is a long term decision though and not one we take lightly.

Good luck to you.
Thanks, Dad has been better today but thinking logically, this is as good as he can be, and it can be a lot worse. I only have to remind myself what he is like every evening and night.
 

Batsue

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
4,853
Scotland
Thank you for all of your replies, I have now been informed that it has been approved and should hear more next week.
 
Last edited:

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
88
Residential care is not necessarily such a bad thing. My mum seems (as far as I can tell on Skype) to have improved since going into a home, they have got her eating better and she looks well for her advanced age. What is troubling is that she says she wants to go home, and will look after herself, but that's very unlikely to be realistic. My dad is at home with a plan of care and he is by far the greater concern for me.
 

Batsue

Registered User
Nov 4, 2014
4,853
Scotland
Things are moving fast, I have spoken with the manager of one of the care homes suggested by social services and they have a vacancy and are happy to have mum move in. Hopefully I will receive the brochure tomorrow together with photographs of the room available.
 

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