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it brings back such bad memories

supporter1

Registered User
Sep 14, 2012
219
Listening on the TV this morning and I was saddened to hear of a lady that had dementia who has sadly been found deceased after being missing for 8 days in Scotland (RIP).

This news brought back memories and the horrible feelings of helplessness that I felt at the time when my dad went missing.

Mr dad managed to leave a secure psych unit when he was acutely distressed. More by luck than judgement he managed to get on buses and get home. Psychiatrist was of the opinion that he should be living in the community because he had managed to get home despite his vulnerability . I don't think that I will ever forgive her for that ... it could so easily have been dad that was found deceased as he was not even able to cross roads safely.

Thankfully now looked after in a residential home .

So this morning my thoughts go to this ladies family. I am so very sorry for their loss.

This is the dreadful reality of something which every family member of someone that has dementia lives with.. the dread that something like this could happen

We all want to protect the person we love but sometimes it just is not possible. I do not know the full circumstances of this ladies situation but what ever happened it is tragic. So very sorry for her family right now .......
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
I'm so sorry that you are having to relive the emotions of when your Dad went missing. Easier said than done but try to visualise your Dad being safe as he now is. The trauma must stay with everyone who has to go through this; the 'what if's', 'I should have done more' etc.

That poor lady and her family.

Love

Lyn T XX
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
My thoughts were absolute shock and horror, about this situation, then anger at the professionals...

My heart goes out to that family. Who may have been at their lowest ebb moving their mother into care, for the authorities then not to take full care of her.

The families guilt monster must be going into overdrive. As mine would if it happened to anyone in my family.

As to the professionals, I'm hoping they don't try to brush this away as a one off. we all know it's not a one off situation for most who are prone to wandering, just a one off, this month, that someone died :(

Awful. Heartbreaking. xxxx




Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,103
Scotland
This was what I was going through all last winter and up until fairly recently. It is very stressful and I felt I was living like a prison warder - and often failing at that as John was as slippery as an eel.

A combination of increased Trazodone, a £200 tracker and more time at the day centre at long last has managed to subdue him a little and keep him out of a care home thus far. I could not and would not go through another winter like the last in terms of stress so I am hopeful that all will go well.

The family of Janet Mackay will be broken hearted at her ending.