Mum lives home alone with long arm family support and twice a day carers. We tried a week's 'holiday' at a reputable care home and have done this several times now. The first time I said it was a week's holiday at a 'special hotel' as the home has a hotel image (deliberately for people with dementia) but when mum saw people in wheelchairs she decided she was in hospital. As she's had stays in hospital for hip replacements she was fine with that. When she got home she told some people she'd been to a hotel and some that she'd been in hospital.
I think it is best to look for whatever your relative is most likely to cope with so long as the home is reputable, and some specialist dementia care homes deliberately create a familiar feel with hotel like 'hair and beauty spas' 'restaurant' type dining rooms and pub like bars. There is no need to use the words 'care home' if that will upset your relative.
Mum was fine where she went but I found that for me it was useful to see how I felt about that particular home, whether mum seemed comfortable there and whether the home had what I felt that she would need. Had I not liked the home I'd have tried another and I think I still might. For me it wasn't respite as the effort taken up by preparing mum for the stay, doing all the paperwork with the home and getting things back in order when she came home was hard work but I don't live with mum or have to care 24 hours a day (unless something goes wrong) and so didn't need the time out that other carers might need. Whatever happens next I know that there are decent care homes out there where mum will feel at ease and I will be happy with the standards of care and that is really important as there is much guilt anyhow about 'putting a relative into a home'.
I think it is best to look for whatever your relative is most likely to cope with so long as the home is reputable, and some specialist dementia care homes deliberately create a familiar feel with hotel like 'hair and beauty spas' 'restaurant' type dining rooms and pub like bars. There is no need to use the words 'care home' if that will upset your relative.
Mum was fine where she went but I found that for me it was useful to see how I felt about that particular home, whether mum seemed comfortable there and whether the home had what I felt that she would need. Had I not liked the home I'd have tried another and I think I still might. For me it wasn't respite as the effort taken up by preparing mum for the stay, doing all the paperwork with the home and getting things back in order when she came home was hard work but I don't live with mum or have to care 24 hours a day (unless something goes wrong) and so didn't need the time out that other carers might need. Whatever happens next I know that there are decent care homes out there where mum will feel at ease and I will be happy with the standards of care and that is really important as there is much guilt anyhow about 'putting a relative into a home'.