After the main funeral, where we were all on show in our "Sunday best", interring mum's ashes on Friday was a far more private affair.
I thought I'd write what we did here, in case you are wondering whether it's worth doing or you're not sure what happens.
Where the baby was with a family friend for the morning of the funeral, there was something comforting about taking her with us this time.
We laid my mum in the garden of rest in the local funeral park. My mum would have definitely shouted at my dad going out in his joggers instead of a pair of trousers, but he was comfy & nobody was dressing up today.
I opted for an eco box as this is kinder for the environment. The funeral director came with us carrying the ashes. The gardener had already dug the hole & bless him he was looking like a spare part and mightily uncomfortable, as he waited for us, not sure whether to say something or just look away.
The ashes were placed in the hole & I'd adapted a poem from Elizabeth Frye's "Do not weep for me" and, as at the funeral, I got my son to read it out as the ashes went in.
I'd really like to share this with you, so I've written it below.
"We will not stand at this memorial and cry, for you are not here.
We will see you instead in the winds that blow and touch our cheeks.
We will see you in the snow when the sunlight glistens and peeks.
We will see you in the sun, we will hear you in the rain, in the birds that fly, and in the twinkling sky again.
We will see your smile in the morning dew and know that you've sent a reminder of you.
Rest easy gran, for you have your wings. We will not cry while your heavenly voice sings"
We then took it in turns to throw some earth on the box & the funeral director left us to have some family time.
The gardener was still hovering looking uncomfortable so we put him out of his discomfort by walking back to the car.
We could have stayed but I was looking forward to baby cuddles. It's comforted me a lot, having our 5-month old little girl around. Of course we love our grandson equally, but I I guess a new baby is an affirmation of new life when surrounded by so much death.
Before I left, I donated my mum's hearing aids & picked up a small pouch of the ashes so that I can put them in with the remembrance rose in the nursing home next week.
All that's left to do then, is wait for the headstone. They can take a while but I know we now have a place to sit quietly away from the bustle of life & remember the good times. Just for a little while.
I thought I'd write what we did here, in case you are wondering whether it's worth doing or you're not sure what happens.
Where the baby was with a family friend for the morning of the funeral, there was something comforting about taking her with us this time.
We laid my mum in the garden of rest in the local funeral park. My mum would have definitely shouted at my dad going out in his joggers instead of a pair of trousers, but he was comfy & nobody was dressing up today.
I opted for an eco box as this is kinder for the environment. The funeral director came with us carrying the ashes. The gardener had already dug the hole & bless him he was looking like a spare part and mightily uncomfortable, as he waited for us, not sure whether to say something or just look away.
The ashes were placed in the hole & I'd adapted a poem from Elizabeth Frye's "Do not weep for me" and, as at the funeral, I got my son to read it out as the ashes went in.
I'd really like to share this with you, so I've written it below.
"We will not stand at this memorial and cry, for you are not here.
We will see you instead in the winds that blow and touch our cheeks.
We will see you in the snow when the sunlight glistens and peeks.
We will see you in the sun, we will hear you in the rain, in the birds that fly, and in the twinkling sky again.
We will see your smile in the morning dew and know that you've sent a reminder of you.
Rest easy gran, for you have your wings. We will not cry while your heavenly voice sings"
We then took it in turns to throw some earth on the box & the funeral director left us to have some family time.
The gardener was still hovering looking uncomfortable so we put him out of his discomfort by walking back to the car.
We could have stayed but I was looking forward to baby cuddles. It's comforted me a lot, having our 5-month old little girl around. Of course we love our grandson equally, but I I guess a new baby is an affirmation of new life when surrounded by so much death.
Before I left, I donated my mum's hearing aids & picked up a small pouch of the ashes so that I can put them in with the remembrance rose in the nursing home next week.
All that's left to do then, is wait for the headstone. They can take a while but I know we now have a place to sit quietly away from the bustle of life & remember the good times. Just for a little while.
