interfering relative in same home

[cymbid]

Mum 92 has just been admitted to a home for assessment this week. An elderly aunt has also been admitted . She is frail but sane. She has been along to mums room harrassing her about going home.
My aunt has agreed to 2 week stay in this home for a care package update (she had a fall 94, care x 4 at home)
My mother has scored poorly on the tests and has altziemers , is very frail and we have decided as a family a care home is best for her .
Naturally she would rather be home and cannot see that there is anything too wrong with her .
My aunt is going to unsettle her , i just know it

 

[Kevinl]

I didn't think (don't know for certain) that close relatatives were usually, other that husband and wife were never in care together in a home.
(UK England for reference) but I'm sure someone on here can advise.
Sound a bit of a negative to me puting them together to me, aunt maybe trying to care for your mum (her sister I assume) and that could be unsettling for your mum, if I read it right. K

 

[cymbid]

Sister -in -law. my late dads sister. She is 94, bodily frail but sharp as a tack mentally.
I think she is just projecting her own determination to go home .
I have never heard of relatives being kept apart. In fact when mum was in hospital . this aunt was in a different ward and another aunt in room across from mum (that aunt sadly died there) .
We joked we could put all 3 in one ward and sort out the visiting between us cousins

 

[StressedDaughter]

I chose to keep my Uncle and mother apart. My mother keeps saying she would love to be together - he has said absolutely no! So I just gloss over the reality with Mum. I’m guessing you didn’t get a choice.

 

[SeaSwallow]

@cymbid this is a difficult one for you to deal with. It might be an idea to have a word with the care home staff about your concerns. I am assuming that the aunt would not listen to you.

 

[cymbid]

I'm going visiting tomorrow, Will see mum first (and see if she remembers any of aunts conversation) I may have to have a word with my aunt . I suppose she thinks she is right (and its what she wants for herself) . Problem is my mum presents so well . In surface conversation you would not realise how bad she is . Aunt probably thinks mum is just fine.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

I'm going visiting tomorrow, Will see mum first (and see if she remembers any of aunts conversation) I may have to have a word with my aunt . I suppose she thinks she is right (and its what she wants for herself) . Problem is my mum presents so well . In surface conversation you would not realise how bad she is . Aunt probably thinks mum is just fine.

Suggest that you call the care home before visiting and ask how things are working out.