I have struggled to get my husbands condition confirmed for many ears due mostly because he refused to see a Dr and the surgery refused to help and talk me unless he came with me However he had an episode of confusion and delusions which resulted in him missing and being returned home by police after concerned member of the public called them. After a visit to the surgery for tegular blood tests he almost collapsed and was sent to hospital. at last, someone medical recognised he has a problem and a memory appointment has been made for the end of this month. I’d hoped we would be able to move on and find some help. This is not to be recently things have deteriorated swiftly after a Ct scan he has been diagnosed with a possible bowl cancer and a colonoscopy procedure is being arranged. He listened to the consultant and nodded a response. As we left he asked me what was going on when I told him he got angry and just said thanks very much . I’m at my wits end how to cope now. He has forgotten already although he does know something is wrong and well attended to hospital but whether he will go thought the procedure when he realise what it involves is anyone’s guess. I am sorry this has rambled on my question is has anyone on her faced a similar problem. Will they opperate if a biopsy finds a cancer and also most importantly will it help him survive longer and recover well with his advance state of confusion ‘ He is almost 82 and I don’t want to lose him or be responsible for coxing him to attend hospital and cause him further problems.
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- Thread starter Fmarg
- Start date
Hi Fmarg that is a difficult situation for you when your husband’s capacity to understand what is going on is not reliable. It helps if you have a health lasting power of attorney to make decisions on their behalf (although no one wants to force a decision on the person they care for unless it is going to make a big difference to the outcome)
It is probably too late to get a health LPOA if you haven’t already got it (as someone would have to sign to confirm your husband has capacity) but it would be good to have a conversation with the hospital clinic (or via your GP if they are helpful) to talk about the likely outcomes of having the procedure or not, and whether your husband could be sedated enough to not take fright during the procedure.
You need some more help and advice to help you decide what is best for your husband. Hopefully you have some family members or friends who you can talk it through with so you don’t feel so alone with this.
My husband has had a couple of procedures (hernia operations) which he understood and was on board with, but it was still very unsettling for him and the general anaesthetic sent him very strange for a couple of days. I feel that I got off pretty lightly but it gets harder as their dementia progresses.
Hopefully others will have more helpful advice! Sending love ❤️
It is probably too late to get a health LPOA if you haven’t already got it (as someone would have to sign to confirm your husband has capacity) but it would be good to have a conversation with the hospital clinic (or via your GP if they are helpful) to talk about the likely outcomes of having the procedure or not, and whether your husband could be sedated enough to not take fright during the procedure.
You need some more help and advice to help you decide what is best for your husband. Hopefully you have some family members or friends who you can talk it through with so you don’t feel so alone with this.
My husband has had a couple of procedures (hernia operations) which he understood and was on board with, but it was still very unsettling for him and the general anaesthetic sent him very strange for a couple of days. I feel that I got off pretty lightly but it gets harder as their dementia progresses.
Hopefully others will have more helpful advice! Sending love ❤️
Thank you for responding I have been leaving this page open hoping for a reply and advice.He has always refused to stay in any hospital when he had no chose he walked out as soon as he found his clothes . the only plus on impending appointment is i can tell him its only day surgery
It would be good to warn them beforehand that he might be uncooperative, they might have some ideas. When you think about the age group it must be getting more and more common that people with dementia need other health procedures.
In the end you can only do your best! I do hope it goes as well as possible for you both ❤️
In the end you can only do your best! I do hope it goes as well as possible for you both ❤️
A diffcult decision for you. If your husband will have the procedure then I would be inclined to go ahead. My husband has had to have a cyscospy recently and having stressed he would come home the same day and that the Doctor thought it best he had one he made no protest. Once you know what you are dealing with then I would hope you can get advice from the medical team as to the best way to proceed. After discussion it was decided not to go ahead with hip surgery my husband ideally should have had as previous stays in hospital left him confused and very upset and that was without the problems an anaesthetic can cause. I cannot fault the care and understanding our hospital has given us so I hope you find it the same.
Have you been given any information on bowel preparation, basically two types one clearing the whole bowel and one only the last part.
They should know from the CT where the problem is, or they may decide to look at the whole bowel.
They should know from the CT where the problem is, or they may decide to look at the whole bowel.
Some bowel cancers can be removed endoscopically either by EMR or ESD which are only an overnight stay.
This is a difficult one @Fmarg. Would your husband be able to understand any procedures that he needs, and more importantly would he be able to manage a stay in hospital for the operation and any post operative treatment. My brother is a bowel cancer survivor. He was in hospital for many months and now has a stoma. He was in his early sixties when he was diagnosed. If he's been older and not able to engage with and manage his treatment I doubt he's still be with us. Just because something can be done, doesn't mean it should be.
However I think you should still attend the memory clinic and get a proper diagnosis. I think you should also contact social services for a needs assessment for your husband and a carers assessment for you. It does sound like you are getting to breaking point with trying to care for your husband.
However I think you should still attend the memory clinic and get a proper diagnosis. I think you should also contact social services for a needs assessment for your husband and a carers assessment for you. It does sound like you are getting to breaking point with trying to care for your husband.
you are all so kind . yes we have the pre preparation . I have looked on the internet but to be honest not the best way to go. It seems that at his age and outher problems he will last only a few months with or without the operation. Even having it is a great risk he may not survive or be worse than before We have been together since 17 years old I can’t image a life without him. Sometimes for a moment he forgets who I am then when it clicks he kisses my hand and tells me how much he loves me . I’m all over the place wondering if I convince him to go ahead am I causing his death before time
Fmarg you can only do your best for him, please don’t beat yourself up. Try to trust your loving instincts! ❤️❤️xxx
My husband has Alzheimer’s and had to have a colonoscopy for suspected bowel cancer. He found the very strict pre op diet and liquid mixture required ery very invasive and he was quite upset that he had to stick to this regime before the procedure. He couldn’t understand why he was having to drink this awful liquid and was very difficult. I wouldn’t recommend the whole process to anyone unless they understood What they were going through.
Hi my husband had a colonoscopy 2 weeks ago and polyps were removed. Your hospital with probably have dementia team . I comtacted them 2 days before appointmentvand they met mecat receotion, came for appointment andc arranged for me to wait on the ward whilst precedure being undertaken.
You wouldnt believe it he actually liked the pre drink !!!!!, the main problem was the diet 4 days beforehand, he eats anything and everything and i couldnt leave the house and had to taie up all the food cupboards. Once having taken the medicine, i had i remind him go to the toilet every 15 mins and put pull uos on just in case
You wouldnt believe it he actually liked the pre drink !!!!!, the main problem was the diet 4 days beforehand, he eats anything and everything and i couldnt leave the house and had to taie up all the food cupboards. Once having taken the medicine, i had i remind him go to the toilet every 15 mins and put pull uos on just in case
@Fmarg I would think a multi-disciplinary team would decide the best way forward for your husband. This would include the memory specialist, a geriatrician, the surgeon and anaesthetist. This is what happened with my brother (not dementia but serious mental health problems and he has capacity to understand certain information). He had polyps in his small bowel, one was removed during the colonoscopy, one yet to be removed. A biopsy is then taken of the polyps. He also had a tumour in his large bowel and had the operation to remove it. However, a lot of lymph nodes were removed from the tumour, one was cancerous. The normal procedure would have been to have chemotherapy but the MDT decided he was too frail to undergo this (he also has severe scoliosis/curvature of the spine and limited mobility).
This is very worrying for me - I don't think he fully understands the implications. Now he has had the CEA test which shows an elevated cancer marker and he is awaiting the result of a CT scan. I fear for his future.
You need to discuss this further with the cancer surgeon and all involved in his care. I was told that anyone can suffer delirium after anaesthesia. In fact, my brother was quite confused and unable to relay to me what the doctors said after the operation. He got better in a couple of days. He was in a lot of pain at first and having morphine. The recovery was about a month and the pain subsided quite quickly. I have heard that, when dementia sufferers have anaesthetic, they take a downward step so this is another thing to take into consideration as well as your husband's age.
A very worrying time for you and I hope your husband's situation will turn out not to be serious and is either easily treatable or else able to be left alone without any detriment to him.
This is very worrying for me - I don't think he fully understands the implications. Now he has had the CEA test which shows an elevated cancer marker and he is awaiting the result of a CT scan. I fear for his future.
You need to discuss this further with the cancer surgeon and all involved in his care. I was told that anyone can suffer delirium after anaesthesia. In fact, my brother was quite confused and unable to relay to me what the doctors said after the operation. He got better in a couple of days. He was in a lot of pain at first and having morphine. The recovery was about a month and the pain subsided quite quickly. I have heard that, when dementia sufferers have anaesthetic, they take a downward step so this is another thing to take into consideration as well as your husband's age.
A very worrying time for you and I hope your husband's situation will turn out not to be serious and is either easily treatable or else able to be left alone without any detriment to him.
Thank you everyone who responded to my request.
I have been told as my husband has not yet been medically diagnosed although it is obvious he has advanced dementia symptoms. It seems this is need before I can apply for help.
My needs are not the most pressing concern I am in a rock and a hard place. Some replieshttps://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/#_edn1 seem to suggest I leave him as he is, because an operation or putting him through other procedures increases the risk of making him worse, or losing him prematurely. One relation told me as he is going to die from dementia related conditions it will be wrong to put him through the trauma of a hospital stay. He advises I just let him be. Another says I must save him the pain and distress of a untreated cancer and take whatever treatment is offered to prolong his life.
However my children who have been wonderful and caring during his swift decline say they will support any decision I make for their father
I shall talk to the consultant who is very understanding and approachable.
I can only hope I will in the end do what’s best for the love of my life no matter how hard that decision will be.
once more thank you all members who took the time to reply. even though you all have your own problems i am greatfull for all the advice given
I have been told as my husband has not yet been medically diagnosed although it is obvious he has advanced dementia symptoms. It seems this is need before I can apply for help.
My needs are not the most pressing concern I am in a rock and a hard place. Some replieshttps://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/#_edn1 seem to suggest I leave him as he is, because an operation or putting him through other procedures increases the risk of making him worse, or losing him prematurely. One relation told me as he is going to die from dementia related conditions it will be wrong to put him through the trauma of a hospital stay. He advises I just let him be. Another says I must save him the pain and distress of a untreated cancer and take whatever treatment is offered to prolong his life.
However my children who have been wonderful and caring during his swift decline say they will support any decision I make for their father
I shall talk to the consultant who is very understanding and approachable.
I can only hope I will in the end do what’s best for the love of my life no matter how hard that decision will be.
once more thank you all members who took the time to reply. even though you all have your own problems i am greatfull for all the advice given
My father, who had dementia, recently broke his hip- the choice: surgery or laying up in bed for 4 months...we knew he couldn't stay in bed- he would forget why etc..etc.. He made it through the surgery, but had delerium afterward...we should have taken him directly home with a nurse and family attending. He died a month after surgery, in the hospital, not able to swallow(due to anti psychotics given to calm him down). The whole experience was awful. We got no good advice from medical staff; he was labeled "dead man walkling" in the hospital, even though he was physically very strong, but suffering from post op delerium/agression. If it's a do-able day surgery, go ahead with it, then have your home prepared for immediately afterward. If they find during surgery that the cancer is advanced, then you'll know and keep him home for his remaining time on earth, secure with his wife and family.
In Australia, people are encouraged to have free bowel cancer tests from the ages of 50 years to 74 years. I asked my doctor why they stopped doing them after that age and he said that if they already have bowel cancer at that age, then chances of survival are very slim.
Here bowel cancer is the second highest cause of cancer deaths so I assume that those deaths are mostly the oldies.
Here bowel cancer is the second highest cause of cancer deaths so I assume that those deaths are mostly the oldies.
Your post has affected me so much how terrible for you to have your dad called a dead man walking . Not a lot of compassion from the staff . As far as I know it’s a day procedure . To tell the truth I am all over the place and give anything not to have convinced him to have this done I have since seen so many reports of things getting worse . There is still a week to go before the colonoscopy which also can have bad after effects . Then an operation if cancer is found not sure what to do for the best half of me is hoping the doctors will take the decision out of my have and because he is so far advanced refuse to go ahead. I know he won’t survive long but at least he won’t have the truma of being in hospital and alone .
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