1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    We are on the slippery slope towards incontinence:

    A few weeks ago my husband began to have difficulties locating the toilet/bathroom, sometimes he would be too desperate to get there in time, other times he would make it, but forget to remove his trousers, or if he managed all of that, he would flood the floor instead of aiming for the toilet bowl.
    But all the time he knew he needed to 'go' - just couldn't put all the actions together. I therefore resisted incontinence pants, as I wanted to make it as easy as possible for him at all times.

    Sadly, he has also started 'stool holding', probably because he can't work out what to do when he feels the need to open his bowels. We have tried a raised toilet seat with supports either side, but he cannot be persuaded to sit on it. All this means he suffers terrible abdominal spasms every single day, they scare him rigid, he shouts that he is dying, he cries, he can't be comforted, and the 'cleaning up sessions' don't make him feel any better, either (in fact, he has, on occasion, become very aggressive, probably due to frustration and embarrassment).

    I have now resorted to using the incontinence pants day and night (surprisingly, he doesn't object). What worries me is that I am getting him used to just 'letting go', and taking away the slightest chance that he might, one day, successfully use the toilet.

    Is there any possibility that this situation could, one day, improve again? Or do I have to accept that we are stuck with double incontinence .......

    I know every person is different, I am just trying to find out what our chances for a turn for the better are.
     
  2. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    520
    Hi Nan ,so Sorry Things Have Got This Bad , And Not Much Comfort To Give You ,just Want To Say ,i Was In This Position With Jim ,no One Seemed To Understand That He Was Not Constipated ,but Was Just Holding On To It ,screaming And Fighting And Saying It Was Dirty ,he Would Hold On For Days ,one Time For A Week ,the Doc Kept Giving Me Lactulose To Move Him But Laxatives Just Soften The Stools ,still Did Not Work ,untill He Was Very Sick ,then They Had To Use An Enema To Force Him To Go ,eventualy The Continance Nurse Understood The Problem And Said He Needed A Stimulant To Make Him Go , I Am Sorry ,this Does Not Really Help You , As Jim Did Stay In Pads After This Episode ,though I Still Tried The Routine Of On The Comode After Meals , He Rarely Let Me Take Him ,and Certainly Never Let The Nurses Or Carers Attempt It ,i Really Hope You Have More Success,than I Did ,stay Strong .angela
     
  3. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Stimulant?

    Thank you for your prompt reply, Angela!
    I have very firmly refused the laxatives offered, as this is not the problem - in fact, I think it would scare him even more!

    What is a 'stimulant'? Did you try it? Did it work?

    Thank Heaven for TP!!!
     
  4. angela.robinson

    angela.robinson Registered User

    Dec 27, 2004
    520
    hi nan ,as i said ,this may not be the answer for you ,as the stimulant was MOVECOL ,A LAXATIVE in a way, but stimulates the bowel movement ,so would still need PADS ,it did work for us ,as JIM as jim use to hold on so long i made him sick ,but with the movecol ,he had to let it go ,this was one of the very worse times for me ,,i allso used linseeds in his breakfast that was very good ,so much that i still use them myself ,its a very different thing from BEING constipated , but there is no way of dealing with toilet phobia ,that i could find , good luck ,ANGELA
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi Nan, my Mum had to take movicol too after she broke her hip (in hospital, grrr) it did help, but as Angela says, she needed a pad too as she no longer had control. Speak to your GP or incontinance adviser about it. Love She. XX
     
  6. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    Thanks Nada - just hadn't thought to check!
     

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