In denial and getting worse

[Thisisnewtome2023]

Hello
I’ve previously posted about my LO. They are in Denali over their cognitive ability although at some times (rare) they will acknowledge that they have not been kind or acted in a kind way.
Lots has happened which I won’t bore you with, but I’ve been called all kinds for trying to help and get medical support.
We never got anywhere with this as they refused to engage. It’s now getting worse and she is showing signs of sundowning. Being threatening, poking, shouting, generally being unfair, volatile and unpredictable at times, especially in the evening.
We cannot seek medical support /diagnosis at this point as one family member is in their ear telling them they are fine.
I am sure a number of you have had similar but I’m at a loss and upset as to how to help.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

Are you able to get this "helpful" family member to visit and then getting a friend make a prearranged call to you with a plea for help? A couple of hours caring for someone that's "fine" should be a real eye opener.

You could try writing a long list of issues to the GP and ask if they'll call her in for a well woman check.

The evening behaviour id known as sundowning and is very common but that doesn't mean that you need to put up with it. If it becomes too physical, pick up your phone, lock yourself in the bathroom and call 999.

 

[Thisisnewtome2023]

We have tried getting the family member involved but because of how toxic things have turned I don’t speak to them currently and they only see my LO in the mornings or on the phone and my goodness what a show is put on then!!!
They will not engage with the GP - we tried this last year and all hell broke loose. Literally. Because of this I have a limited strained relationship which is sad, but necessary.
We are going to try the GP again as neighbours have started to comment. Well meaning kind neighbours have heard my LO and they way things are of an evening, and noticed how they are when they take my LO out twice a week.
If I mention their concerns to my LO that will literally start WW3 and the neighbour will feel compromised and back off.
I’m lost.

 

[canary]

Your GP needs to know what is going on. You do not have to tell your LO that you have contacted the GP, though. Send the GP an email or a letter so that it will go into your LOs file. If the GP calls her in for a "meds review" or a "well woman check" don't let on that you contacted the doctor.

You might also consider asking the neighbours to contact Social Services about their concerns. SS will send a report to the GP too. That way, none of it will appear to come from you.

 

[Collywobbles]

In addition to canary’s suggestions, it sounds drastic, but you might quietly suggest to your neighbours that you’d be OK with them calling 999 if they’re afraid for your safety. The police can call in a mental health team and that kind of safeguarding issue might trigger further support - whether your LO wants it or not.