Hi
@AussieLady
My heart goes out to you. Full time sole carer for your OH - it's the hardest job you'll ever do.
As you know, none of us has chosen this. I, personally, don't feel I can ever walk away. My Oh needs me now more than ever, and these dark days are much worse for her, even though she no longer knows this.
I've no idea how long this will go on e for; I've only been doing this for 7 years, and we reached the stage where my OH can't do anything. She can't handle cutlery, she can't read, she can't talk properly, etc. She's forgotten how to walk. We can't go anywhere. We're v fortunate that we did a great deal of travelling earlier in our lives. My OH can no longer bear weight, and hasn't been out of bed or chair since July 2022.
Yes, as you said, the biggest thing is not being able to talk to each other - no chitchat, no asking or telling opinions, no arguments or debates. W live together apart. It's v lonely.
I keep in touch with family, friends, etc as one aways needs some adult conversation. I do get some respite and this is absolutely vital. I have lady trained in dealing with dementia patients who comes to be with my Oh for 3 hours on a Weds morning, and one of my sons comes on a Thursday evening so I can go a play bridge. I'll book another full day out soon and my other son will take tie off work to be with his mum, My daughter comes to stay for a couple of days every six weeks or so, to check up on me I think. She's 250 miles away. Thank G for phones, emails, zoom meetings etc.
Stay strong if you can. You have to try and reach acceptance. My life has inevitably become my OH's life. As they say, if you're going through hell, keep going.
Best wishes. I sent virtual hugs.