Im new here

jam shed

New member
Jan 19, 2024
Hi everyone, my auntie who lives next door has vascular dementia and has virtually no short term memory, my husband has had Ms for 24 years and I'm finding it overwhelming, I have three sisters who are willing to help out, I need to explain to my auntie that she needs support but obviously I'm always met with denial and aggression, any advice please x


Volunteer Host
Mar 25, 2016
Hi @jam shed and welcome, you will find lots of support here from people who understand. It sounds like you have a lot to cope with at the moment but it's good that your sisters are willing to help out, although do consider asking the local authority for a care needs assessment for your husband and auntie and also a carers assessment for yourself if you haven't already done so (details in link below). With dementia it's quite common for the person to think that there is nothing wrong with them so trying to explain to your auntie that she needs support when she will not understand or accept what you are saying is likely to result in stress for your both. The link below about Compassionate Communication might be worth a read as it contains details of various tips to try to improve communication however not everything mentioned will be appropriate or work for every situation or individual but you may find something useful. Keep posting as there is a lot of shared experience here and people are happy to listen and offer support and helpful suggestions if they can.