Im new here

[jam shed]

Hi everyone, my auntie who lives next door has vascular dementia and has virtually no short term memory, my husband has had Ms for 24 years and I'm finding it overwhelming, I have three sisters who are willing to help out, I need to explain to my auntie that she needs support but obviously I'm always met with denial and aggression, any advice please x

 

[Louise7]

Hi @jam shed and welcome, you will find lots of support here from people who understand. It sounds like you have a lot to cope with at the moment but it's good that your sisters are willing to help out, although do consider asking the local authority for a care needs assessment for your husband and auntie and also a carers assessment for yourself if you haven't already done so (details in link below). With dementia it's quite common for the person to think that there is nothing wrong with them so trying to explain to your auntie that she needs support when she will not understand or accept what you are saying is likely to result in stress for your both. The link below about Compassionate Communication might be worth a read as it contains details of various tips to try to improve communication however not everything mentioned will be appropriate or work for every situation or individual but you may find something useful. Keep posting as there is a lot of shared experience here and people are happy to listen and offer support and helpful suggestions if they can.

The care needs assessment: support for people with dementia

This page looks at how a person with dementia can get a care assessment, who does an assessment, how they are carried out, who makes the decision, and tips for making the most of the care needs assessment. It also explains the eligibility criteria.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired

The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk