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I'm back! :(


Registered User
Jan 28, 2013
Ashton Under Lyne
Hi All,

have not posted on here for ages (since dad died in Nov 2013 - he was diagnosed with vascular dementia). Am sad to say that mum has now been diagnosed with mixed dementia (Alzheimers & vascular dementia).
I naively thought after what dad went through that I would be better prepared following mums diagnosis. Am still trying to get my head round this.
Mum took the diagnosis calmly but hasn't really talked about it since- she doesn't seem to have linked her diagnosis to dads.
We're currently sorting out mum's meds with the Memory Clinic. Mum's not coping too bad at the moment.
I really just wanted to say thank you to all the support I received from you all previously for my dad, and draw comfort from the support I know I will receive as mum progresses on her journey.
Bruce xxx


Registered User
Jan 20, 2011
Oh Bruce, how sorry I am to hear this news.

I guess some of us are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, whereas other people think they've had their dementia quota and don't expect it to happen again.

I'm in the first camp. OH and I both lost physically frail but mentally alert fathers, but now have both our mums with dementia. We assume that it will happen again, either with ourselves or our siblings. It's not a great way to be thinking really, at least I don't find it so.

Your mum will take time to process her diagnosis. Or not. As you say, she doesn't relate to your dad's illness, at least ATM. She may not have self-awareness. Sometimes people with AD do not.

She may be a person who prefers to tackle problems as and when they arise, rather than trying to anticipate them as you (quite naturally) will already be doing. I would say it's best not to force the issue of discussing the future, while still ensuring that her support needs are being met.


Registered User
Jan 28, 2013
Ashton Under Lyne
Hi Katrine. Thanks for your response. At the moment I'm not really pushing anything with mum - am just trying to support her as best I can to be as independent as possible.
Had a really nice afternoon with mum today - we watched her favourite Andre Rieu dvd which she really enjoyed and had a meal together (mum still makes the best meat and potato pie!!).
Am really just taking it one day at a time and enjoying the time we spend together xx

Fred Flintstone

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
S. E. England
Hello Bruce,

I'm sorry for the reasons you've returned here. Perhaps meds will slow the process down, and the diagnosis will allow you to plan in some measure.

I'll help if I can at all.



Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
Good morning Bruce. I'm sorry to read about your mum. I'm glad you've come back to TP for support though. Wishing you both well on this journey.