I want to resign
- Thread starter Helen33
- Start date
Oh Helen 
Firstly you cannot resign you love Alan too much for that and cannot give up on something that you are BRILLIANT at doing.
AND JUST THINK - if we all resigned - one massive walk out (in trade union terms!!). Yes we could go on a Weekend Retreat but we would all feel so wretched we would not be able to see it through - YOU AND I and many others would be on our way back for the torture it has become.
In dementia terms the solutions are more help, some respite or (dare I mention) Care Home. If others have other remedies PLEASE let us all know about it.
I wish I could help Helen (apologies for being 1. brutal and 2. flippant!!
Love Jan
Firstly you cannot resign you love Alan too much for that and cannot give up on something that you are BRILLIANT at doing.
AND JUST THINK - if we all resigned - one massive walk out (in trade union terms!!). Yes we could go on a Weekend Retreat
but we would all feel so wretched we would not be able to see it through - YOU AND I and many others would be on our way back for the torture it has become. In dementia terms the solutions are more help, some respite or (dare I mention) Care Home. If others have other remedies PLEASE let us all know about it.
I wish I could help Helen (apologies for being 1. brutal and 2. flippant!!
Love Jan
dear helen, what a nice thought that would be but sadley its not going to happen, it is so frustrating and ive had many a thought of that i just dont want to do this but we are always hear the next day and will be the next. try to get some respite so you can recharge your batteries every month sounds good to me sending you possitive thoughts down the net and a massive hugxxx
I will join you
It must be the onset of winter with the promise of dark days and nights to come Helen , because I feel on a shorter fuse than ever before and would also like to resign.
It sounds as if those of us who feel the same way are experiencing burn out or something similar. Our lives are not our own, we can never put ourselves first, we are supposed to be good and kind and loving at all times of the day and night, to see reason in the unreasonable, logic in the illogical, mop up, clean up, listen, have the right replies, take all the responsibilities, have no one to share with [except on TP] be chief cook and bottle washer and to top it all be full of wonder and gratitude for an hour off.
Thanks Helen. Of course I won`t resign but it`s good to know I`m not the only one.
I think I`ll have another slice of Cherry Pie.
It must be the onset of winter with the promise of dark days and nights to come Helen , because I feel on a shorter fuse than ever before and would also like to resign.
It sounds as if those of us who feel the same way are experiencing burn out or something similar. Our lives are not our own, we can never put ourselves first, we are supposed to be good and kind and loving at all times of the day and night, to see reason in the unreasonable, logic in the illogical, mop up, clean up, listen, have the right replies, take all the responsibilities, have no one to share with [except on TP] be chief cook and bottle washer and to top it all be full of wonder and gratitude for an hour off.
Thanks Helen. Of course I won`t resign but it`s good to know I`m not the only one.
I think I`ll have another slice of Cherry Pie.
i would also like to resighn even though harold is in a nurseing home i go to see him every day 4oclock return at 7 last week when he wasnt as well i also went mornings as well i dread the winter seting in its not exatly on the main road milly
I have been so angry
All the work that was put in last week to getting Alan's experience of the care home to be as positive as possible because he is reliant upon 'experience' rather than 'understanding'.
Today the sitter (who failed to protect Alan from the onslaught of three ladies talking to him at once) came to take Alan to the care home. He had been updated by Crossroads and he had a copy of the requirements that I had sent to Crossroads.
To cut a long story short, Alan came barging into the house completely paranoid and highly agitated. The sitter was still at the car. Had I had a client this would have caused a very serious problem. Why had the sitter brought Alan home early?
Alan had gone into a complete paranoid and agitated state because the sitter had sat him in a room at the care home with the tv on full blast showing Jeremy Kyle It is clearly stated in Alan's care plan that it is important that Alan is not exposed to tv!!! I had told the sitter before he took Alan today that they had access to a private flat in the care home should it prove too noisy for Alan. The sitter did not think to use this facility but must have felt that he knew better than me by allowing Alan to watch this programme at full blast
The notes he'd written in the care plan showed nothing of this and of Alan's state so I rang Crossroads. Needless to say he won't be coming back but I am so angry that I can't just relax in the knowledge that those caring for Alan really do understand.
Why is everything such hard work when it should be standard procedure?
Poor Alan is suffering because of the shoddy work of his sitter and the consequences could be so severe. I bet he would want to resign too if he could.
Thanks so much for your support cos I really am fed up.
All the work that was put in last week to getting Alan's experience of the care home to be as positive as possible because he is reliant upon 'experience' rather than 'understanding'.
Today the sitter (who failed to protect Alan from the onslaught of three ladies talking to him at once) came to take Alan to the care home. He had been updated by Crossroads and he had a copy of the requirements that I had sent to Crossroads.
To cut a long story short, Alan came barging into the house completely paranoid and highly agitated. The sitter was still at the car. Had I had a client this would have caused a very serious problem. Why had the sitter brought Alan home early?
Alan had gone into a complete paranoid and agitated state because the sitter had sat him in a room at the care home with the tv on full blast showing Jeremy Kyle
It is clearly stated in Alan's care plan that it is important that Alan is not exposed to tv!!! I had told the sitter before he took Alan today that they had access to a private flat in the care home should it prove too noisy for Alan. The sitter did not think to use this facility but must have felt that he knew better than me by allowing Alan to watch this programme at full blastThe notes he'd written in the care plan showed nothing of this and of Alan's state so I rang Crossroads. Needless to say he won't be coming back but I am so angry that I can't just relax in the knowledge that those caring for Alan really do understand.
Why is everything such hard work when it should be standard procedure?
Poor Alan is suffering because of the shoddy work of his sitter and the consequences could be so severe. I bet he would want to resign too if he could.
Thanks so much for your support cos I really am fed up.
What???? I can't imagine anything worse for Alan.
I have to say, on our few visits to the memory clinic, the TV in the waiting room has been showing Jeremy Kyle. Last week in A&E we had to suffer Loose Women, followed by Jeremy Kyle at 3 a.m. Fortunately my dad was positioned where he couldn't see it and was asleep.
They have a TV in the waiting room of our local magistrates court, and a few weeks ago, whilst broadcasting Jeremy Kyle, the various cons, waiting for their hearings kicked off over something on the 'show'.
I hope Alan is better tonight.
Helen,after all your hard work to make this work. you know sometimes i feel like running away, it is not the day to day care, i can cope with that it is if external worries crop up and what i once would have dealt with so easily , just pushes me over the edge.this morning i was shocked when a carer arrived who i had specifically asked for her not to come again, not because she was bad at her job , in fact she was probably one of the best, and i thought long and hard before i rang the agency, but she has personal problems and feels she can pour her heart out to me, in fact i was so shocked with the very private details she was telling me, i found myself worrying about her, and felt it betterto distance myself, I have not rung the agency but it is something i do not need to cope with, Jeremy kyle show also upsets trev , i turn this off straight away, it was so insensitve of your sitter to put Alan in that situation, wish we could all live in a commune where we know other people appreciate how these things distress our loved ones, you cannot resign we need you love pam
Hi
Hi Helen
I agree with everyone else you cannot resign You love Alan too much
I am a carer for my husband Peter who we have just come back from Cornwall had a great week and the weather was hot and sunny, but I feel that I did not have any time to myself as I was kept busy with Peter going here there and everywhere. I sometimes feel as though I cant go on anymore but then I think who will look after Peter I love him and he needs me as much as I need him so please do not give up Had a chat to my Counsellor today and she says that \I do need some space myself so I am trying to go for a littlebreak in the next few weeks . Love Jackie x x x
Hi Helen
I agree with everyone else you cannot resign You love Alan too much
I am a carer for my husband Peter who we have just come back from Cornwall had a great week and the weather was hot and sunny, but I feel that I did not have any time to myself as I was kept busy with Peter going here there and everywhere. I sometimes feel as though I cant go on anymore but then I think who will look after Peter I love him and he needs me as much as I need him so please do not give up Had a chat to my Counsellor today and she says that \I do need some space myself so I am trying to go for a littlebreak in the next few weeks . Love Jackie x x x
Hello Helen...
Of course you want to resign...we all do...
But we won't ......
We'll wake up tomorrow and plod on..and tomorrow may be better..or worse...
If tomorrow is worse..the next day will be better..or worse..but then the next day could be better.
It's not easy when you have outside agencies to contend with.
You've done so well with them so far...but speaking from experience they won't always get it right, sadly. And when they don't we have to pick up the pieces and sort them out..and it's yet more hassle.
I'm so sorry...hope you've managed to relax a bit by now..and Alan is settled.
Love xx
Of course you want to resign...we all do...
But we won't ......
We'll wake up tomorrow and plod on..and tomorrow may be better..or worse...
If tomorrow is worse..the next day will be better..or worse..but then the next day could be better.
It's not easy when you have outside agencies to contend with.
You've done so well with them so far...but speaking from experience they won't always get it right, sadly. And when they don't we have to pick up the pieces and sort them out..and it's yet more hassle.
I'm so sorry...hope you've managed to relax a bit by now..and Alan is settled.
Love xx
Dear Helen
It sounds like things have been really rubbish for you recently and I'm sure the weather and shorter days make it worse. It always astounds me that these people (who are supposed to be specialist carers) seem to be so monumentally clueless! Things do just feel like they are getting on top of you sometimes but Alan appreciates everything you are doing for him which makes it all worthwhile even if it doesn't seem that way right now.
Although I can't help much, my aunty's words of wisdom sprung to mind:
When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate!
It certainly keeps me going anyway. Sorry if that seems feeble, I know how it feels sometimes to feel like you are at the end of your tether but it will get better
Love,
Hannah
It sounds like things have been really rubbish for you recently and I'm sure the weather and shorter days make it worse. It always astounds me that these people (who are supposed to be specialist carers) seem to be so monumentally clueless! Things do just feel like they are getting on top of you sometimes but Alan appreciates everything you are doing for him which makes it all worthwhile
even if it doesn't seem that way right now.Although I can't help much, my aunty's words of wisdom sprung to mind:
When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate!
It certainly keeps me going anyway. Sorry if that seems feeble, I know how it feels sometimes to feel like you are at the end of your tether but it will get better
Love,
Hannah
Lynne, I don't know how you find them but that looks just like me today
Pam, I had to ask for a sitter not to come back because she was pouring out all her troubles here and she was wanting me to look after her
Sue38, Tonight is no better Sue. Sometimes these things can upset Alan for a week I am more angry tonight than I was today because of his needs not being taken seriously and the possible consequences to him of being placed on medication which might ultimately affect his mobility!! I really only want to care for him I never did want to fight a cause but it seems I have no choice. I dread to think what would have happened to him if he had no one to speak up for him.
However, I must remember that the agency has been very good in attempting to care for him responsibly - it is just one carer who won't be coming back!!
Jacky, I have my second weekend respite on the 16th October and I can't wait. I really need a break. I could do with 6 weeks in Greece with my TP mates having a Mamma Mia experience. Who looks after Peter when you have respite?
Love and thanks
Pam, I had to ask for a sitter not to come back because she was pouring out all her troubles here and she was wanting me to look after her
Sue38, Tonight is no better Sue. Sometimes these things can upset Alan for a week
I am more angry tonight than I was today because of his needs not being taken seriously and the possible consequences to him of being placed on medication which might ultimately affect his mobility!! I really only want to care for him I never did want to fight a cause but it seems I have no choice. I dread to think what would have happened to him if he had no one to speak up for him. However, I must remember that the agency has been very good in attempting to care for him responsibly - it is just one carer who won't be coming back!!
Jacky, I have my second weekend respite on the 16th October and I can't wait. I really need a break. I could do with 6 weeks in Greece with my TP mates having a Mamma Mia experience. Who looks after Peter when you have respite?
Love and thanks
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![36_1_4[1].gif](https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/data/attachments/5/5107-bfdbfb068e7a3a6c086459779299be3b.jpg "36_1_4[1].gif")
just a thought.....If we all walked out at the same time - maybe the govt would be forced to support us more and not just 'leave it to you as you're coping so well' ( the words of my nurse when I was told we're being taken off the consultant's work load)....why is that our mental health isn'tr regarded as important?
Hope you have a better week
Sah.x
Hope you have a better week
Sah.x
