1. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    I miss his voice.....his smell......his care...his love....
    I miss my dad so much
    Why? This cruel illness....i can't understand.....i feel alone
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Dear Sarah-Anne

    Welcome to Talking Point, but I`m really sorry you needed to come here.

    Please tell us about your Dad. I saw from your Profile that you have lost him. Now you are full of grief.

    No-one understands this illness. It hits us, in the same way, yet in different ways, and we can do nothing to fight it, nor can we accept it.

    If it will help you to talk, about anything you want, there is always someone here to listen.

    With love
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Sarah-Anne

    So sorry you've lost your dad. The sadness and loneliness are so hard to bear.

    Would you like to tell us more about him? If it was Pick's, he was probably quite young.

    You don't need to be alone now you've found TP. We all have different experiences, but we're there to support each other through the bad times -- and even have a giggle in the Tea Room. It doesn't mean we don't care.

    Post again whenever you feel like it.

    Love,
     
  4. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    My dad was 68 when diagnosed with depression......i thought i could get him better....
    I visited him each day in psyciactric hospital for 6 months
    I am being a baby not coping but i am in such a state.....
    Eventually he was discharged after being diagnosed with Alzeimers......thenafter many tests...Picks...
     
  5. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Sarah Anne.
    You are not being a baby love - some days we just dont cope.
    If it helps, and when you feel ready, tell us a little more about yourself - lots of people here who have some idea of your pain - and we support one another in it.
    Take care,
    Love Helen
     
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    I lost my father 5 years ago and I still miss him so much, I so know how you feel my father was 70 .

    Age is but a number we all keep that child with in us that part never leave us , let her come out and cry , in time like I feel now for me time has pass pain is always they I can't say I don't still feel it I just learn to live with it and those happy
    Memories I how can face and I let those childhood memories play In my imagination giving me comfort now .
     
  7. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    a bad day today

    Thankyou for your replies....
    I little about myself, well I am fairly quiet, very private so when my doctor recommended councelling i know i wont open up.
    I loved my dad so much, he was my hero. I am an only child, i still have my mom but she is going through hell right now so i have to appear strong. I am so scared, really scared. Mom keeps saying she wants to give up...what's to live for. What on earth will i do if she gives up, i will be all alone.
     
  8. jaysc

    jaysc Registered User

    Mar 5, 2007
    8
    Hello,

    Im so sorry for your loss and I don't know what to say really.

    I can't imagine losing a parent but my boyfriend misses his dad so much - he was just 11 yrs old when his dad died of pre-senile dementia and he remembers his dad being taken away when he was 37 yrs old and he died at 42- so young.

    You have to remember the good times and appreciate the time you were given together. keep the memories in your heart. Appreciate life and live it to the full.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Hi Sarah-Anne,

    I`m sorry you`re having a bad day today.

    Not only are you mourning your dad, you are frightened about the state your mum is in.

    I can understand her feeling life is not worth living, but you know she doesn`t really mean it. She might feel it, but I`m sure she wouldn`t let you down.

    You seem such a loving family, you will get there, however long it takes.

    I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Even though I don`t know you, you touch my heart.

    Sorry I can`t be of more help.

    With love
     
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Sarah-Anne

    So sorry you've had a bad day. That's the way it goes, though. You just think you're feeling better, when Wham!, you're back to square one. Just keep going, love, you'll come through it.

    Your mom must be feeling so sad, too. I don't think she'll give up, she's got you! You're both going to be strong for each other.

    As for the counselling, it's a very personal decision. It works very well for some people, but not for everyone. It might do you good to talk to someone, but you have to decide.

    What about ringing Samaritans? You don't have to be suicidal. It would give you the chance to talk anonymously, for as long as you like. They won't press you to talk about anything you don't want to, and if you don't like it, you can just ring off and not ring again. There's no commitment.

    I'm glad to see you've been posting to other threads. You're doing well. I know it's hard, but you'll be OK.

    Keep in touch,

    Love,
     
  11. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    excited

    It's funny but when i found i had replies i got excited...thankyou.
    I know so many other people of different ages are going through dark times too.
    Big hug to everybody
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,090
    Kent
    Dear Sarah -Anne,

    That`s what it`s all about. Not so much the excitement, it`s the knowledge you can talk to people who are outside the family, not as involved, but know and understand your grief.

    Keep posting. With love
     
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #13 Margarita, Mar 21, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2007
    That is so true , When my father died I never new what grief meant , never new that I was living in it or what it meant so when my mother use to say things like that to me I was beside myself with worry , but she never did .

    Wondering if you have ask your doctor about grief counseling, if you do a search on what the meaning of grief is, it has stages, not all in the order that it says , but it help me to understand myself in what I was feeling so help me understand help my mother , people do grieve differently , it can pull a family together or break a family apart , but I feel from a few posting I have seen on TP from you , it will pull you both together xx

    PS

    You help me today , as I remember you when you said about screaming when having a panic attack , because I had one in the supermarket to today , I thought I am normal this feeling is normal other on TP have had it , so thank-you for reopening that thread xx
     
  14. Sarah-Anne

    Sarah-Anne Registered User

    Mar 17, 2007
    28
    shropshire
    this is helping so much

    Hi Margarita (what a beautiful name)
    Thankyou for your reply...your'e so right...everyone does have their own way of dealing with loss. At the moment mine is constantly being on the go!! I'm exhausted. Mom on the other hand is sitting all day with photographs of my dad. We both went to pieces today when the postman brought lots of forms to be filled in relating to dads' pension. How can we concentrate on these sort of things?
     
  15. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Sarah-Anne
    I've only just caught up with your thread....
    counselling can be hard for people but you know you'll always have the support from the lovely people on here.....there's always someone hear to listen
    Take care
    My love and hugs to you and your mum.
    xx
     
  16. plastic scouser

    plastic scouser Registered User

    Hi Sarah Anne

    Just to let you know you're not alone - I lost my Dad at the end of January to this evil disease, and there isn't a day when I don't think about him and wish he was here. I too am an only child and it's hard trying to appear strong for your Mum when all you want to do is break down and cry sometimes.

    I hope it gets better for you - remember the good times, not the bad - and be there for your Mum and she'll be there for you...
     
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #17 Margarita, Mar 24, 2007
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2007
    You don't You go on auto pilot shock, I know I did, I keep busy was a way for me not to feel my own pain because if I did I wanted to end it all , as I felt I had join a club of dead people, life had open another door that I felt was of the unknown , so I even join up to became a Samaritan and did a course to became one , but did not , but It help me as I sorted out all the of my father death paper work waited for the post morten (sp) went to work , I felt I was losting my mind and holding on to my mother , I did not want to lose her also , she keep me going looking after her, but then in that year I lost her to AZ .

    People telling me that it would hit me, when I said that it was not my father laying there dead that was only his shell of a body, his soul /core is in peace now, that when I stop rushing around organising every thing would hit me, for god sake what more could hit me, I new my father was dead, I just wanted him back and new it would never happen .

    what hits you I feel is the bitter negtive feeling , That I learn to keep away from .
     
  18. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    125
    hugs

    hi,
    you are so right- i love coming on here and reading other peoples help and advice, i find it so supportive and the poetry in the tea room section really brightens my day. stick with it, talking to people really really helps- my friend is currently waiting for the results of his brain scan so im just waiting in hope for now but i can tell you how fabulous this site is- reading other peoples stories and some of the poems makes the whole situation feel so much easier and approchable,
    hugs and luck to everyone,
    laurenx
     
  19. Sarah-Anne

    Thanks for sharing your feelings.
    My mother died 6 months ago. I miss her very much and when I went to the house two months ago the only things I took away back to Finland were two clothes pegs.

    The last time I was with her in June she told me off for hanging out the clothes wrongly (I'm 58 :p) and she preceded to demonstrate the most effective method.

    I always learned from her and recently I have been collecting all words she has written down and typing them into my computer. I feel she has still something to say especially in the way she cared for my father (Alzheimers + Parkinsons) and how she spoke to people in need at the local Alzheimers branch.

    I really want to carry her torch and tell people about her. Maybe soon you can share stories with us about the wonderful things about your dad.

    God bless

    Brianj
     

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