Hi
Im new, I joined yesterday. My name is Mags, i am 43 and I am pretty sure my 73 yr old dad has dementia. He lives in South Wales and I live in Devon with my fiance. He lives alone and I'm really worried about how caring for him is going to go if he does have this disease. He's basically changed as a person quite dramatically these last 5 years. I've watched him deteriorate and thought he was just depressed and anxious about his urinary frequency which has been a problem for him for a number of years. But a few days ago i came back to south wales to see my family at Xmas and was shocked (again) to find even more changes in my dad. My aunty and uncle can see it now too, which is some relief. He's started talking and focussing on the past more and his short term memory is getting worse. He spends a lot of his days walking about town and sat in cafes and I worry so much about this as it's so sad and he seems so lonely. He seems to have lost all insight into the fact that he's really unwell & needs help and gets very defensive & angry if I suggest seeing his gp about what seem to be visual perception problems or his mood, memory and confusion. He's now incapable of buying Xmas presents for anyone, can't do shops very well, gets depressed and angry a lot and voices this quite loudly, much to people's confusion and disgust. We tried to go Xmas shopping these last 2 days and at one point he got confused and panicked about what to buy my mum, but they've been divorced for 26 years. He can't remember if he's been to the shops in the morning to get enough food for dinner, finds shop opening and closing times hard to deal with and kind of re-remembers stuff throughout the day over and over, " have I got anything for dinner?" kind of thing, but repeatedly throughout the day with a lot of confusion. I'm at the point where I've rung his gp for the second time in 6 months to tell them there's something wrong (I'll write them a letter in the next few days) but he won't comply with any treatment or engage properly with the GP. He gets very angry and it's so horrible and upsetting. I'm writing to you guys on here because no-one else I know has to deal with this. Plus I'm just really worried about getting a diagnosis for him, whether I'll get the same thing too ( I get depression and think I'm mildly cognitively impaired because of that atm, but am worried it'll turn into something more) and how to deal with his care because he lives alone so far away from me. This is honestly so awful and it's hitting me like a brick atm. The person that was my dad has gone and this depressed, confused, aggressive and unpleasant person is left behind. I'm appalled because I don't want to change mine & my partners life to look after him, but then feel so bad for him and sad and guilty and really frightened about the future.
Im new, I joined yesterday. My name is Mags, i am 43 and I am pretty sure my 73 yr old dad has dementia. He lives in South Wales and I live in Devon with my fiance. He lives alone and I'm really worried about how caring for him is going to go if he does have this disease. He's basically changed as a person quite dramatically these last 5 years. I've watched him deteriorate and thought he was just depressed and anxious about his urinary frequency which has been a problem for him for a number of years. But a few days ago i came back to south wales to see my family at Xmas and was shocked (again) to find even more changes in my dad. My aunty and uncle can see it now too, which is some relief. He's started talking and focussing on the past more and his short term memory is getting worse. He spends a lot of his days walking about town and sat in cafes and I worry so much about this as it's so sad and he seems so lonely. He seems to have lost all insight into the fact that he's really unwell & needs help and gets very defensive & angry if I suggest seeing his gp about what seem to be visual perception problems or his mood, memory and confusion. He's now incapable of buying Xmas presents for anyone, can't do shops very well, gets depressed and angry a lot and voices this quite loudly, much to people's confusion and disgust. We tried to go Xmas shopping these last 2 days and at one point he got confused and panicked about what to buy my mum, but they've been divorced for 26 years. He can't remember if he's been to the shops in the morning to get enough food for dinner, finds shop opening and closing times hard to deal with and kind of re-remembers stuff throughout the day over and over, " have I got anything for dinner?" kind of thing, but repeatedly throughout the day with a lot of confusion. I'm at the point where I've rung his gp for the second time in 6 months to tell them there's something wrong (I'll write them a letter in the next few days) but he won't comply with any treatment or engage properly with the GP. He gets very angry and it's so horrible and upsetting. I'm writing to you guys on here because no-one else I know has to deal with this. Plus I'm just really worried about getting a diagnosis for him, whether I'll get the same thing too ( I get depression and think I'm mildly cognitively impaired because of that atm, but am worried it'll turn into something more) and how to deal with his care because he lives alone so far away from me. This is honestly so awful and it's hitting me like a brick atm. The person that was my dad has gone and this depressed, confused, aggressive and unpleasant person is left behind. I'm appalled because I don't want to change mine & my partners life to look after him, but then feel so bad for him and sad and guilty and really frightened about the future.
