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I should have known better ...

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by northumbrian_k, Aug 13, 2017.

  1. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    #1 northumbrian_k, Aug 13, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2017
    I should have known better than to think that this visit by my stepson and family would be any better than the last. People don't change their thoughtless and selfish ways. Friday evening's pub meal (just with stepson due to granddaughter being unwell) was quite jolly, despite him telling his Mam to get a hobby such as researching her family tree. We are wise enough never to travel with them, so our trip yesterday to the beautiful beach at Bamburgh went off well and we had a convivial family coffee sitting in rare summer sun.

    My wife needs persuading to go out at night leaving our dog behind but I thought that it might be worth it to meet up for a meal in a local restaurant. We walked there to arrive for 8:15 as agreed but (surprise, surprise) they were not there, despite having a shorter journey than us. Cue a series of 'phone calls and texts telling us they were on their way, would be there in 15 minutes (it is a 12 minute walk), 10 minutes and so on, until at 8:45 with the latest estimated time of arrival being another 10 minutes we gave up and went home. Surprisingly my wife, who gets impatient sitting at traffic lights, remained in a good mood and fully aware of how we had been treated once again. It was almost like old times having a good grumble about it in the pub on the way home. She has forgotten it now.

    Today, to suit stepson, we agreed to have a late pub lunch (4pm) after the first premier league fixture this season, in a location handy for the long drive home to London. Before that, daughter in law and granddaughter are supposed to be taking my wife into the city with them to do some shopping and whatever else ladies get up to. Perhaps the chance of a couple of hours to myself, but I'm counting on it about as much as I am expecting them to turn up on time for the meal this afternoon.

    After all this I am in a surprisingly sunny mood but I'll be cheering when their car hits the road south.
  2. MaNaAk

    MaNaAk Registered User

    Jun 19, 2016
    Dear Northumbrian,

    I don't quite know what to say except to have a plan B. Next time they ask you out to dinner or lunch arrive at the appointed time and make your order or arrive slightly later and if they still aren't there you could still place an order. That you way you would still get time enjoy a good meal.

  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    That takes me back Northumbrian.

    My sister ,who didn`t even see my husband because she lived 300 miles away, kept telling me he was bored and needed a project.
  4. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    Lordy, as if we didn't have enough to cope with...families!!
  5. cobden28

    cobden28 Registered User

    Jan 31, 2012
    Did stepson turn up for the meal after you'd given up and gone home, I wonder? :D And if he did, what was his reaction to you not being there?
  6. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    We were never told if they made it to the restaurant or not on Saturday evening. It was all forgotten about by the next day. To be fair, daughter in law and granddaughter did turn up to take my wife shopping on Sunday morning. When she realised that I would not be going she refused to go, so my dreams of a quiet couple of hours to myself came to nothing. Perhaps making up for the night before, the family were on time for our late afternoon Sunday lunch which all seemed to enjoy before they left for London with a promise (or threat) that they would come back next month.

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