Hello, I am new to Talking Point; this is my first post.
My husband is still in the early to mid-stages of Alzheimer's disease (his last MMSE score this February was a generous 15). He also has vascular dementia and recently (in January this year) suffered a small but significant bleed in his brain, which has left him with noticeable visual-spatial coordination eccentricities. My problem is that since his small stroke, he wants me with him all the time. He has been somewhat rude and uncooperative with carers who have recently come to the house to give me emergency respite. He either runs away from the carer if they are away from our home, or he ignores them and goes to a different room in the house if they are at home. He is not a "joiner", meaning he doesn't like to join in group activities, so a day care is out. He will not go, even if I go with him. A recent visit by a social worker confirmed that he was a poor candidate for going into a care home ---- I have family abroad and am desperate for a break and the chance to visit my grandchildren, whom I haven't seen for a year. I thought he would be best off in a care home, where he would be looked after by trained professionals, but I have been told that he is not a good candidate for a care home because of his resistance to care from anyone besides me; if he refuses to go into a home we cannot force him to do so. Please help. I need to find a way to get away and see my family. (This is a second marriage for us both.)
My husband is still in the early to mid-stages of Alzheimer's disease (his last MMSE score this February was a generous 15). He also has vascular dementia and recently (in January this year) suffered a small but significant bleed in his brain, which has left him with noticeable visual-spatial coordination eccentricities. My problem is that since his small stroke, he wants me with him all the time. He has been somewhat rude and uncooperative with carers who have recently come to the house to give me emergency respite. He either runs away from the carer if they are away from our home, or he ignores them and goes to a different room in the house if they are at home. He is not a "joiner", meaning he doesn't like to join in group activities, so a day care is out. He will not go, even if I go with him. A recent visit by a social worker confirmed that he was a poor candidate for going into a care home ---- I have family abroad and am desperate for a break and the chance to visit my grandchildren, whom I haven't seen for a year. I thought he would be best off in a care home, where he would be looked after by trained professionals, but I have been told that he is not a good candidate for a care home because of his resistance to care from anyone besides me; if he refuses to go into a home we cannot force him to do so. Please help. I need to find a way to get away and see my family. (This is a second marriage for us both.)
I don't know who told you he's not a good candidate but he could be sectioned if he won't go. It's hard for you but I would contact SW & say you must have a break. If you can't get him to go with persuasion then tell him you'll have him sectioned, would that work? Tell SW you're having carer breakdown & you'll drop him off at their offices, anything to get them to help.
