I just want to remember my Mum

[canary]

Yes, @Sunshine11! , all these things have to be done, but they dont have to be done today, or even tomorrow. You are allowed to be emotional.

I knitted mum a "fiddle rug" and people suggested I put it in with her, but I didnt either. I've kept it. I still have some of her possessions that I cant bear to deal with. It doesnt matter. Just take it one day at a time.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Sunshine11!]

I had my first not crying day yesterday . There’s like a numbness now but I feel so bad because I feel like I just don’t care about the funeral side of things. Mum is gone. I’ve said though that I will speak at the funeral about Mum. I think that might help me get some better memories together too. It’s the things like the flowers, clothes for mum, and a whole lot more that I just want to run from. Then I feel selfish. I’m sorry if I’m sounding self pitying. This is giving me such an outlet but I am aware there are others of you out there who are and have been through so mush worse. Would someone who runs the site please let me know if what I’m saying isn’t appropriate and I’ll stop. But I will send so much love to you all x

 

[canary]

Im sure that what you are saying is completely OK and it doesnt sound at all self pitying. This site is a good place to be able to express how you feel in safety
Numbness is a common reaction after bereavement. Dont worry about how you are feeling. I suspect its because you have spent so long watching your reactions so that you dont upset your mum that you are finding it difficult to just allow yourself to be.
xxx

 

[Marcelle123]

So sorry to hear of your loss and of your difficult father and sister. Take it slowly - you are doing your best as you always have. I had difficulties with a sister and it did cause me enormous stress. But feeling that you did what you could for your beloved mother will be a huge consolation in time. You will always grieve for her. My mother died six years ago now but I still miss her and wish I could talk to her, even in her 'dementia stage'.

Because I too was the one who organised Mum's funeral, I didn't allow myself to cry at the time and that left me feeling frozen. So do what you must, but don't beat yourself up or allow other relatives to make you feel guilty. Do what you must, but also allow yourself time and space to grieve for her.

Love & sympathy. xx

 

[Sunshine11!]

I had some awful memories yesterday and today of times when my dad and sister were vile to mum. Shouting and swearing at her. I’m so so angry with them and don’t know how much longer I can keep acting that things are ok. I feel like I’ve got to though, for Mum?

 

[Sunshine11!]

And it’s exactly a week since it happened. Rightly or wrongly, I’ve contacted the Care Home asking for them to put in an email for me, what happened from when I saw her the day before it happened. That did tell my Father and I on the day of her death but I didn’t take it all in. I need to know what happened.. people are asking me but I need to have it clear in my mind.

 

[Harper1207]

My deepest condolences for the passing of your mom. This is a wonderful support group and virtually are here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.