I have to share this with you all

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by Babymare01, May 15, 2019.

  1. Babymare01

    Babymare01 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2015
    Mum is in very late stages of this evil illness and basically bedridden. Before Christmas I had to find a new nursing home quick because the one she was in suddenly withdrew nursing care and it was a very upsetting and stressful time with no one knowing if mum would actualy cope with the move. And of course the lottery of finding a good home.

    Well 5 months on and wow! The new nursing home is amazing. The care is both great and loving. In the previous home mum was in bed 24/7 but in the new home they wanted to try getting mum up in the lounge. They brought in a special chair due to mums posture etc and the difference in mum is amazing. She is up in the lounge everyday built up from an hour to now most of the day. We have periods where mum does open her eyes and seems to like the hustle and bustle. Today the home rung me and ask if mum was ok in the sun( she has fragile skin) because with it being so lovely they wanted to get the residents out to enjoy a bit of sun. It will be monitored and a gazebo has well. I actually burst into tears on the phone to the nurse because mum hasn't felt the sun on her face for so long - due to being bed ridden in previous home - and she used to love the outdoors so much. And they are going to time it for when I go in at lunch time so I can share it with mum.

    Long and rambling for no particular reason other than to say there are really good nursing homes out there and everything in life happens for a reason. Still crying tears of pure happiness.

  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Im so glad it has worked out so well. I remember your anguish about the move.
    This nursing home sounds so lovely. Enjoy lunch with your mum out in the garden
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    How wonderful @Babymare01 - now wonder you were so emotional!
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I was emotional too, reading your post @Babymare01.

    I can feel your relief knowing your mother is receiving the best care possible from thoughtful people who are thinking of the best for their residents.

    I hope your post comforts others who are considering a residential placement .
  5. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    What a lovely post @Babymare01

    It's so good to hear your mum is in the right place.
  6. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    East Midlands
    This is so lovely to read @Babymare01 - I hope your mum can enjoy the sun & it is lovely to read of such a progressive care home x
  7. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    I am so glad for you. It's turned out really well that the former home withdrew nursing care. Without that, you would not be where you are now.

    So glad your mother can enjoy the sun on her face again.
  8. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    So good to hear, very moving to hear. X
  9. silversea2020

    silversea2020 Registered User

    May 12, 2019
    Delighted for you & can feel your relief - its really pleasing to hear - not an easy journey I know....there are some terrific care homes & im so pleased you have found ‘the one’
  10. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    How lovely...it is the simple things like sitting among people, breathing fresh air and feeling the warmth of the sun that we take for granted and some homes feel late stage dementia residents would not benefit from...makes me feel very sad for those not given any opportunity or choice in a garden. Well done such a positive move...the home sounds lovely
  11. Daffy123

    Daffy123 Registered User

    Feb 1, 2018
    i can only agree with everyone else - thank you for sharing such a lovely post.
  12. Babymare01

    Babymare01 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2015
    Thank you everyone for your lovely comments.
    Yesterday lunchtime I went in to feed Mum and there she was sat outside in the sun - later moved under the gazebo. The garden overlooks the countryside and there was a lovely warm breeze. Mum had eyes open and actually smiled at me. Was all quite emotional BUT one of those times that is now stored as a wonderful happy memory.

    There were a few happy tears and when I explained why the nurse said "You haven't seen nothing yet Carol" smiling - gosh what have they got planned for mum?? LOL :) :) :)
  13. joanne d

    joanne d Registered User

    Feb 9, 2013
    Great to hear some good news on here. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. Your mum is a prime example. It must releive so much stress for you. May your mum continue to thrive and your life continue to get better. Well done you and all who care for her. Xx
  14. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    South of the Border
    So glad you found the right place - if we all knew where it was we could all turn up there with our loved ones to share it with your Mum!!!! Only joking, of course, but the new home should be a bench mark standard for all care/nursing homes......
  15. Bolo

    Bolo New member

    Oct 5, 2017
    It’s incredibly reassuring there are places like this.
  16. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    Wow I had to pinch myself when reading this ! It is my situation exactly ! Briefly mum on EOL in CH they say in February we think she needs NH palliative care team agree all systems go ASAP to find NH , box ticked found fab place for her expecting the worse as the move etc could be too much for her . Been bedridden since December legs contracted etc very little hope ....... moved in early April visit daily and she’s coping . Went today and well there she is in main lounge while they do a quiz sat in a chair that’s amazing never seen one like it I believe it’s a bucket chair . She’s not been dressed since before Xmas they’ve asked me to get her some dresses so it’s exciting , I know it’s a rally but it’s positive
  17. Babymare01

    Babymare01 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2015
    Oh moose we are like 2 peas in a pod :). I to got asked to get mum same day wear by the NH LOL :) Mums chair is amazing to and like you never seen one before. That feeling seeing them sat with everyone is just so special isn't it? But also its so great for us to. Sat in the lounge with mum rather than her bedroom I have got to know the carers more ( and they no me better to) and the other residents and I love chatting to them. I don't feel has isolated if that makes sense?

    I am so glad that you like me have found a NH that cares about not just the day to day but the actual quality of life :)

    Big hugs xx
  18. Agzy

    Agzy Registered User

    Nov 16, 2016
    Moreton, Wirral. UK.
    Sounds like the standard all nursing/care homes should strive for, wonderful.
  19. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    Glad to have found you . Like others on here it’s good to have a positive story although the journey here has been awful , I feel like a can breathe again and even not feel guilty for enjoying my life while mum is suffering. I know it’s baby steps but I’m sure her quality of life must be better . She’s not happy but I believe that is down to her anxiety etc , she looks better and is awake more than before . She would sleep 23 hours a day and eat morsels , appetite still poor but taking a little more . How old is your mum mine is 86 .
  20. Babymare01

    Babymare01 Registered User

    Apr 22, 2015
    Mum is 86 to! this is so spooky lol :) so similar. Mum also had eyes closed all time but they are open more and Im getting the odd word from her often garbeled but its sound. But the other day I ask her to remember I love her and there was a clear yes. Unbeliveable. Mums appertite is good though pureed .

    It is baby steps but most definitely her quality of life will have improved and I am glad you are starting to feel less guilt enjoying your life again. Big big hugs x

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