.....I have my thoughts and feelings...


Registered User
Mar 23, 2008
coast of texas
This is Memorial weekend and here it is a 3 day holiday. Everyone is gone from the house but me and mom. The hospice nurses came yesterday for the first time. They are such lovely ladies. They understand where ai am coming from. MOm slept all of yesterday and is working on today.

The aide came in and helped me bathe mom. She is such a gentle and softspoken woman...she will surely have her place beyond the pearly gates for her ways. MOm attempted to stay awake as we bathed her...but did not manage to. She has barely eaten and to be very honest I feel her bowel movements are from food she ate well over 5 days ago. Too much info.

She is on an antibiotic for this bladder infection...but since I cannot get her to stay awake to eat and drink I fear that this may be what actually takes her. Everyone has said that between the plavix and the UTI that is why her urine seems to be blood.

The hospice nurse brought a pamplet to read. "When Death Is NEar...kWhat to expect, How you can help" It's 11 pages long. Very easy to read. Very eye opening. MOm has almost jumped out at me from the book. I asked the nurse if AD patients were the same as cancer patients. Yes they all follow the same path...you just need to understand and know what is happening.

Hospice is a gentle old fashined way of caring for a person. It has helped me to know what I thought was going on may indeed be the big picture. Time will only tell. I can only say that if you are a home carer (particularly in the US) search out a hospice provider. They will help you alot in the long run. MOms medicare pays for hospice we do not have to worry about out of pocket or insurance problems at this point. Time will only tell how long this will be...

HUgs to all, just had to get something off my chest..........


Registered User
Oct 1, 2006
Dear citybythesea
Just to let you know you are not alone.
I am sending lots of love to you and am thinking of you at this sad time.
Look after yourself
God bless Roseann

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Nancy.

Your post was so moving.

Sadly the Hospice Movement isn`t available for those with dementia in the UK. It is only available for terminal conditions, when it is considered the end of life is iminent.

I hope your mother isn`t suffering too much discomfort.

Love xx


Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
Hello Nancy. Your post was very moving. I do hope that you can continue to get the support and help for your mum for as long as she needs it. It sounds as though you yourself have been helped so much by this kind and wonderful person who is helping you to look after your mum.



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Nancy

It's sad that you have got to that stage with your mum, where you know that the end is near.

But it's also good that you have the hospice nurse to support you both at this time. I'm sure she'll be a great comfort to you. I wish we had a similar system here.

Please keep posting, you and your mum will be in my thoughts and prayers.



Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
Hi Nancy

My heart goes out to you having been in your position just a little while ago.

Dad received help with terminal care from a most devoted Marie Curie nurse wo talked us through everything. It helped me greatly when the time came for my Mum also.

A few months ago I also read on here about a book called "Final Gifts" which was written by a hospice nurse, which I found great comfort in. I know that in my last few months with Mum I received quite a few of these "gifts" from her.

My thoughts are with you at this time. It is not an easy road, but I did find it peace-giving.




Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
Hello Nancy

Thank you for your moving post. My thoughts are with you and your mum. I am so glad you have the blessing of caring and loving support.

Love Helen


Registered User
Mar 23, 2008
coast of texas
Thanx all.

Thank you all. Mom is still holding on and as I said time will only tell. After having read and done some research I only wish that more people had access to these wonderful people who know about dying.

Mom awoke yesterday to ask me "what time is it" I told her 6 she saind "in the evening" I said yes. This short conversation was so so lucid it brought me to tears. But even now I feel more reaffirmed in my faith that even with AD He is not going to let his children come to him in such a cruel emotionless way. (Sorry I am not a heavy church goer but I do believe and this disease has testeds me greatly.) I am thankful for these past few weeks as they are unfolding.

I am so sorry for what we have and are going thru. I only wish my neighbor had been given the chance to read the pamphlet I talked of...maybe she would not be having such a hard time with her own mothers death.