Here I am feeling totally useless and helpless, Dad has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia that alone is hard enough he lives
with me my darling husband and 13 yr old son. We have been trying for such a long time to get help.. Apart from the memory problems dad also has cancer which has spread from the lymph nodes behind his ear he had major invasive surgery under local anaesthetic and surgeon can't understand why dad couldn't understand to keep still as they cut deep into his head. The surgery failed and nothing more can be done. He also has asthma and copd.
He has a social worker who has finally got funding for a carer for 1 hr 3 mornings a week on the days I work to help dad up shower breakfast and meds, a care firm picked up the contract and couldn't understand why I thought 7.30 am was too early so can't do 8.30 am so now gone back to be picked up by another firm. Then the day centre that was arranged for him don't really specialise in people with dementia so not sure if they can manage his care so we are going to try one day a week as opposed to the three days I work.
Respite seems more positive as he is going to hopefully gave it through shared lives scheme.
I know I may sound ungrateful but as I sit here wondering what tonight will bring in relation to my father I just want to cry I don't know how much more we can take! Can I take! Last three night I have had to sit with him as he crys out in anguish repeating how frightened he is he calls me mother, he talks constantly quite like a baby learning to babble, he has had chronic dioreah, and last night fell off the toilet fortunately only a little graze on the back of his thigh, he's 89 and suffering so much. I do the night shift then go to work at 6 am home by 7.30 pm hubby works from home and covers the day shift we also pay for friends to come and sit with dad in the day which is out of our pocket. Memory nurses are supposed to visit not seen anyone, last sept consultant told us Alzheimer's society would be in touch still nothing.
My son is truly amazing but dad can be so nasty to him calling him horrible names even pouring drinks over his head. And my don will just say grandad that's not nice shall we chat.
God I feel so bad pouring all this out but I am struggling and need something anything.
with me my darling husband and 13 yr old son. We have been trying for such a long time to get help.. Apart from the memory problems dad also has cancer which has spread from the lymph nodes behind his ear he had major invasive surgery under local anaesthetic and surgeon can't understand why dad couldn't understand to keep still as they cut deep into his head. The surgery failed and nothing more can be done. He also has asthma and copd.
He has a social worker who has finally got funding for a carer for 1 hr 3 mornings a week on the days I work to help dad up shower breakfast and meds, a care firm picked up the contract and couldn't understand why I thought 7.30 am was too early so can't do 8.30 am so now gone back to be picked up by another firm. Then the day centre that was arranged for him don't really specialise in people with dementia so not sure if they can manage his care so we are going to try one day a week as opposed to the three days I work.
Respite seems more positive as he is going to hopefully gave it through shared lives scheme.
I know I may sound ungrateful but as I sit here wondering what tonight will bring in relation to my father I just want to cry I don't know how much more we can take! Can I take! Last three night I have had to sit with him as he crys out in anguish repeating how frightened he is he calls me mother, he talks constantly quite like a baby learning to babble, he has had chronic dioreah, and last night fell off the toilet fortunately only a little graze on the back of his thigh, he's 89 and suffering so much. I do the night shift then go to work at 6 am home by 7.30 pm hubby works from home and covers the day shift we also pay for friends to come and sit with dad in the day which is out of our pocket. Memory nurses are supposed to visit not seen anyone, last sept consultant told us Alzheimer's society would be in touch still nothing.
My son is truly amazing but dad can be so nasty to him calling him horrible names even pouring drinks over his head. And my don will just say grandad that's not nice shall we chat.
God I feel so bad pouring all this out but I am struggling and need something anything.