My 92yr old mum was admitted to hospital with low sodium and a water infection. The low sodium was due to her not absorbing as she suffers with IBS . Mum came home for a week as a trial with 4 care visits a day and suffered dilerium , sodium levels had dropped again . Back into hospital and the Social Worker queried with her , long term what did she want to do and how would she cope on her own in the evening after the last carer had left and mum said she wouldn’t be able to cope. The decision to look for Residential Care began . At this point mum was anxious, behaving erratically , paranoid and fixated with “who is paying “ “ if I don’t pay I will have to leave “ ( NHS) I found out mum had been taken off her anxiety medication whilst in hospital that she’d been on for 17 years as the possible cause of her low sodium, but what we thought was dementia was probably the withdrawal symptoms of the medication.
I finally managed to get mum restarted on a similar medication and whilst there has been an improvement in her anxiety she is now fixated on bowels , other patients in the home who are far worse than she is and so feels she shouldn’t be there but should be back at home and I look after her with x 4 carers a day , she cry’s daily and the tale of woe is cutting. Mum has her mobile phone and I’ve removed a couple of numbers at the requests of friends as her very frequent and disturbing calls are all positive/negative. “ the weather is lovely today “ “ it’ll rain later “
“ I thought I’d better eat some crisps today before I can’t wear my teeth anymore “
“I thought I should tell you I’m now losing the ability to be continent but I’m only your mother what do you care “ I’ve told her they are distressing calls but she’s under the impression that it’s “ not about you , we’re talking about me”
Mum has a bowel and a bladder prolapse so is prone to water infections. These , you can guarantee will be on a Friday just when surgery isn’t available until Monday!
She is in a lovely Home , one which she asked to go to , but declined that this is the one she’s in .
She walks well but is convinced she’ll have a fall as one of the other residents has and now she’s “got two black eyes and I know that I’ll be the next victim. I’ll be lucky to see Christmas I’ve lost that much weight “!
And it goes on . Unfortunately I was an only child and my father has been gone many years, mum has had and enjoyed independence up until May and she’s not accepting that she now needs more attention than I can cope with , mentally. My husband and I take the phone calls between us and we visit once a week but we feel it’s a challenge rather than a pleasure. Will this guilt get easier? The Dr suspect’s dementia but the CT scan found nothing.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
I finally managed to get mum restarted on a similar medication and whilst there has been an improvement in her anxiety she is now fixated on bowels , other patients in the home who are far worse than she is and so feels she shouldn’t be there but should be back at home and I look after her with x 4 carers a day , she cry’s daily and the tale of woe is cutting. Mum has her mobile phone and I’ve removed a couple of numbers at the requests of friends as her very frequent and disturbing calls are all positive/negative. “ the weather is lovely today “ “ it’ll rain later “
“ I thought I’d better eat some crisps today before I can’t wear my teeth anymore “
“I thought I should tell you I’m now losing the ability to be continent but I’m only your mother what do you care “ I’ve told her they are distressing calls but she’s under the impression that it’s “ not about you , we’re talking about me”
Mum has a bowel and a bladder prolapse so is prone to water infections. These , you can guarantee will be on a Friday just when surgery isn’t available until Monday!
She is in a lovely Home , one which she asked to go to , but declined that this is the one she’s in .
She walks well but is convinced she’ll have a fall as one of the other residents has and now she’s “got two black eyes and I know that I’ll be the next victim. I’ll be lucky to see Christmas I’ve lost that much weight “!
And it goes on . Unfortunately I was an only child and my father has been gone many years, mum has had and enjoyed independence up until May and she’s not accepting that she now needs more attention than I can cope with , mentally. My husband and I take the phone calls between us and we visit once a week but we feel it’s a challenge rather than a pleasure. Will this guilt get easier? The Dr suspect’s dementia but the CT scan found nothing.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
