I feel very humbled by this thread and am posting a rather hesitant reply. Having lived in the 'dementia world' for around eight years now with my father now dead and my mother in a care home I have had two rather different experiences which connect to many already mentioned.
With my father it was unbearable to lose him - first to dementia and then death. I was distraught and realised how much I loved him after a life where we were not connected for much of it. In an odd way the dementia connected us.
With my mother I feel much more ambivalent. She is very tricky, always has been and is now tricky with Alzheimers. Not always a brilliant combination. I am afraid I have been thinking about her death and silently wishing it which makes me cringe even to write this down.
So I am wishing her end but not out of the intense love initially and so movingly mentioned. I know this is horribly selfish and I feel embarrassed by it. I wish it were otherwise but it isn't
With my father it was unbearable to lose him - first to dementia and then death. I was distraught and realised how much I loved him after a life where we were not connected for much of it. In an odd way the dementia connected us.
With my mother I feel much more ambivalent. She is very tricky, always has been and is now tricky with Alzheimers. Not always a brilliant combination. I am afraid I have been thinking about her death and silently wishing it which makes me cringe even to write this down.
So I am wishing her end but not out of the intense love initially and so movingly mentioned. I know this is horribly selfish and I feel embarrassed by it. I wish it were otherwise but it isn't