I apologise for the fairly dramatic title, but i've just had ANOTHER 60 min phone call (no, abuse session) from my mum and its pushed me to the brink
I'm a first time poster on here, but have been reading threads for a while - hi to everyone in what seems a wonderful forum!
These phone calls are getting more frequent in their nature, and whilst they seem to be borne of loneliness, my mum seems to think that firing this level of bile will make me ring / see her more often (ring her EVERY day and see her at least once every weekend.
The thing is, its always me that gets these phone calls / rants - she has care visits 3 x a day, meals on wheels and goes to local groups twice a week. I also have a brother who has remained standoffish for this whole period and yet (and am sure many of you suffer the same) never gets a bad word against him.
I feel better just getting things off my chest, but I dont think i can cope with this any more - i literally was shaking after this last conversation and on the verge of crying (but for a 46 year old man currently at work, I couldnt quite let go!)
Going back to my previous paragraph though, because no-one else sees / hears what i experience, no-one seems to be truly aware of the reality which makes it hard to put things in place. If loneliness is the key factor in her outbursts, i do feel that residential care is perhaps the best way forward as I certainly cant do much else (full time job / family etc)
Being able to self fund, i guess grants us some flexibility but ideally i'd like some sort of social service backing to help along the way - not financially, but evidentially in terms of what they feel is best. Is this something you think could be provided, or do i simply forge my own path based on what i can now sustain (in terms of my own time etc)
The problem is, because my mum is always "everythings ok" with everyone else, i worry that they think i'm making things up
Thanks all - feel bit better for that!
I'm a first time poster on here, but have been reading threads for a while - hi to everyone in what seems a wonderful forum!
These phone calls are getting more frequent in their nature, and whilst they seem to be borne of loneliness, my mum seems to think that firing this level of bile will make me ring / see her more often (ring her EVERY day and see her at least once every weekend.
The thing is, its always me that gets these phone calls / rants - she has care visits 3 x a day, meals on wheels and goes to local groups twice a week. I also have a brother who has remained standoffish for this whole period and yet (and am sure many of you suffer the same) never gets a bad word against him.
I feel better just getting things off my chest, but I dont think i can cope with this any more - i literally was shaking after this last conversation and on the verge of crying (but for a 46 year old man currently at work, I couldnt quite let go!)
Going back to my previous paragraph though, because no-one else sees / hears what i experience, no-one seems to be truly aware of the reality which makes it hard to put things in place. If loneliness is the key factor in her outbursts, i do feel that residential care is perhaps the best way forward as I certainly cant do much else (full time job / family etc)
Being able to self fund, i guess grants us some flexibility but ideally i'd like some sort of social service backing to help along the way - not financially, but evidentially in terms of what they feel is best. Is this something you think could be provided, or do i simply forge my own path based on what i can now sustain (in terms of my own time etc)
The problem is, because my mum is always "everythings ok" with everyone else, i worry that they think i'm making things up
Thanks all - feel bit better for that!