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I can never switch off from it

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
Just had a distressing phone call from my OH who is in care because I havn't been able to go and see him because the Home is in "quarantine" for a week now.
I have been down there and handed things over at the door, the usual things I take in when I visit every other day.

He is very agitated and obviously cannot remember what I have sent in and says he hasn't seen me for a long time, and wanted to make sure "I am his Wife".
Obviously there is nothing I can do about it but I can never switch off from the unfairness of this illness, he is there under a DoLS and he is only just 69.
 
Last edited:

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Oh Silver Lining, I am so sorry to read this. Obviously you can't go in, and there's nothing you can do about that.

Your poor hubby, and poor you.....:( I am sorry, I have no advice or ideas, I just wanted to send you massive (((hugs)))

Lindy xx
 

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
Oh Silver Lining, I am so sorry to read this. Obviously you can't go in, and there's nothing you can do about that.

Your poor hubby, and poor you.....:( I am sorry, I have no advice or ideas, I just wanted to send you massive (((hugs)))

Lindy xx
Thank you xx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,640
Kent
It`s so stressful for you . I`m not surprised you can`t switch off. At least my husband had no sense of time so didn`t realise if I hadn`t been to see him.

When I went away for a week I sent my husband cards with cheery messages. He smiled when the care staff gave them to him. Do you think it would help your husband if you did something like that.

I wish I could think of something better to suggest.
 

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
It`s so stressful for you . I`m not surprised you can`t switch off. At least my husband had no sense of time so didn`t realise if I hadn`t been to see him.

When I went away for a week I sent my husband cards with cheery messages. He smiled when the care staff gave them to him. Do you think it would help your husband if you did something like that.

I wish I could think of something better to suggest.
Every other day I have gone to the Home with fruit, smarties all labelled up from me. Then I sent him more and a framed picture of a AA minivan just like the one he used to drive when we were first married.
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
Pontypool
What a horrible situation for you, it seems you have done all you can in the circumstances. Hope it's not too long before you can visit again.


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
What a horrible situation for you, it seems you have done all you can in the circumstances. Hope it's not too long before you can visit again.


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
I know I have but was is sad is he doesn't know/remember. SL
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,073
Devon
Can't say anything to help SL, but sending you and your husband love and a big hug. Such a very sad situation for you both. Es
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
I know I have but was is sad is he doesn't know/remember. SL
I have just visited John after one week,home has been in quarantine he seems to have deteriorated in just one week, a DoLs assessment been done today, he only remembers a "Woman" coming to see him, his conversation so muddled, and to me has again visibly lost weight, I have asked the Care Home to weigh him.

Personal care seems non existent, couldn't even find the toothpaste I freshened him up, changed his socks etc, he hasn't shaved, I am going back tomorrow evening. I am feeling very emotional tonight and have had 2 glasses of wine, hey ho!!
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,073
Devon
Oh, SL I'm sorry, how distressing for you to see your husband like that. Sending you lots of love and a big hug. Hope you can get some sleep and sort things out a bit better tomorrow.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Silver Lining

Registered User
Nov 20, 2013
224
Oh, SL I'm sorry, how distressing for you to see your husband like that. Sending you lots of love and a big hug. Hope you can get some sleep and sort things out a bit better tomorrow.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you, thank you everyone as always - SL xx