1. Mich09

    Mich09 Registered User

    Jan 13, 2016
    My MIL was admited to hospital on Friday with dehydration. Id been struggling for a couple of weeks getting her to drink much. She lives with us and has a carer coming in 3 times per day to helo with personal care, meals and meds as i work full time doing shifts. MIL is 91 years old, was diagnosed 10 years ago, has insulin dependent diabetes, very poor mobility (although up to a couple of weeks ago she could walk to the bathroom with the support of 1) and has recently become doubly incontinent. I went with her to hospital and gave them all the information they would need about her and the consultant in a&e agreed that she did not have capacity. This was at 1.30am saturday morning. I had to be at work for 6am that morning. Fast forward to sunday evening, i got a phone call to say that she was on her way home. She arrived at 8pm in a right state, obviously. Still poorly and needing 24/7 care so i told them to take her back.
    The next morning, she was transferred to an isolation ward, she had awful diarrhea. I had a look through her notes to find that whoever admitted her. Ignored all the notes i left about MIL and seemed to have made it up as they went along. It stated that she did not have dementia, had no mobility problems and was fully independent.
    I called in ti see her on my way home from work this afternoon to find her coved in feaces. It was all over her and the bed and her hands. She was very upset and said she had been calling for help. The call bell was out of reach behind the bed and was broken. This was at 2pm. She hadnt had breakfast because theyd given her cornflakes (puree diet) and she hadnt even been offeted lunch.
    I list my rag at her nurse. Who told me i shouldn't be reading the notes!!!
    Whilst they were cleaning MIL up i tried to ring PALS, no reply, si i emailed them and then made a complaint to the ward manager.
    What the hell do i do now?
  2. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015

    Lord help you. I don't know what to write but I had to respond to you just to let you know I and TPs are here for you. Of course you are angry, tormented and upset. You are doing your very best. I can't imagine how shocked you were when you visited this afternoon. Thanks to you, maybe MIL will get better care now. Please keep in touch. Sending you loads of love, virtual hugs and lots of support.

    Aisling ( Ireland)
  3. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Not much immediate help to you I know but I would also let the Care Quality Commission know of the state of affairs, your local Healthwatch organisation and send an e mail to your local MP and an e mail to the PALS organisation at the hospital. All of these e mail addresses you can easily get on the internet and cut and copy what you have written above to them all.

    I would also write to the chief officer of the trust and demand that he investigates immediately. He is in overall responsibility for the complaint and must investigate the allegations.

    Tell the ward sister you must see a hospital social worker before there is any suggestion of her being moved. .

    Put everything in writing and make a log of the daily neglect you see happening

    I know it doesn't immediately help you but without creating a 'stink' about the disgusting care, it will will continue to exist for so many vulnerable and elderly patients.

    My very best wishes to you. Don't give up. You have taken the first step by detailing it here on TP which will make it so much easier to cut and paste and send off to all the necessary places by e mail.

  4. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012

    If it was my Mam?

    Dr in charge of her care, Sister in charge of ward and our hospitals have Matrons in charge of nursing care.

    I would stand at the desk and insist all these people attend or I will phone the police and report abuse and neglect.
    I would not shut up either.

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  5. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    North East
    I am shocked and horrified. You have done all that you can. Shoddy care is outrageous, this isn't even shoddy it's absolutely appalling. Pals is a good place to go next. Detail everything. I do hope that they are now actually caring for your mum?
    Big hugs to you xxxx
  6. copsham

    copsham Registered User

    Oct 11, 2012

    Oh I feel for you ! My mother was treated similarly 3 years ago in hospital. It feels like it leaves a scar . follow what tinaT suggested if you can. I have not found PALS very good- nice people but no fighting instinct, very placating which is not what is needed best of luck with it all
  7. Mich09

    Mich09 Registered User

    Jan 13, 2016
    Im at work now, but ive arranged for a carer that knows her well to go in today to help her with her meals and to take in her favourite foods. The carer will also report everything back to me.
    I want her home as soon as possible where I know she will be looked after properly.
  8. Gwyneth

    Gwyneth Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    It just beggars belief. I do so feel for you. I have no real experience of any of this recently so cannot offer much but one thing I would say is to not leave it but follow it through via various complaint mechanisms as other on TP have advised very shrewdly. Sadly it is the only way to bring about change and those in charge on that ward needs a huge shake up. Underneath it all though is the real tragedy that some professionals don't seem to want to care, show compassion or empathise. You have enough to cope with as a carer worrying about your mum in law without now having to go to all the stress of complaining. My heart goes out to you. What a state some of our hospitals are in and that is down to some of the staff in those situations not the system necessarily. Your MIL is lucky to have you. My dearest mum died in 1999 aged 88 and had become very frail. She was cared for very well in a small retirement home but she often felt that the NHS wrote people off after a certain age. Too much focussing on high tech and not enough basic care at the bedside were her comments and she had been a starchy ward sister in the 1930s running a ward on old fashioned principles and with discipline. Take care.
  9. doodle1

    doodle1 Registered User

    May 11, 2012
    My friends husband a medical director of a large London hospital said emailing or phoning your MP quickest way to get action. Hugs xx
  10. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    We had similar with MIL. They hospital lost our contact details FOUR times, ignored the many times we told them about her health conditions (they told us they don't have time to read medical notes) and tried to send her home as medically fit. She died 5 days later due to the medical condition she went in with.

    You did the right thing refusing her to come home as that will now be logged as a failed discharge from hospital and looks bad on their statistics so they will pay better attention next time.
  11. cobden28

    cobden28 Registered User

    Jan 31, 2012
    Writing to your MP

    I second this. When I was working as a civil servant, if our department received a written enquiry from an MP it was given top priority for action and only a declaration of war would have resulted in anything less than immediate action.

    What about going to the local press as well, naming and shaming the hospital and the ward staff involved as well? Let the local paper know about the shocking treatment your Mum has received!

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.