I am new to this forum. My husband has Alzheimer's and in February fractured 2 bones in his leg and ankle. He is now in a care home. I am struggling.
- Thread starter Cassiecat
- Start date
Hi @Cassiecat and welcome to the forum. Many members have been in a similar position to you and you will get a lot of support here. You have said that you can't manage him on his own due to his current physical limitations. Dealing with his Alzheimer's will also have become more of a challenge. This will continue. It seems that you have done your best for him by making sure that he is safe and looked after in a care home. A year ago I took that decision for my wife as I could no longer provide the 24 hour care that she needs and deserves. It is natural to feel guilty about this as neither of you would want this in normal circumstances. But things are not normal anymore. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You haven't stopped being a couple just because you are no longer living together. You are still important to him even if current circumstances make visiting difficult or impossible. You deserve praise for your strength so try to ignore your conscience if you can. Keep posting here whenever you feel like it.
Hello @Cassiecat . Well that's far more than one person could deal with. You have done well to find your husband a place in a care home where he has access to trained staff 24 hours a day. Have you been able to talk to the staff at the care home to see how he is getting on?
I have just been and he is getting on well but says he would rather be at home. It makes it harder. He does like it and they are amazing with him.
Of course he does - they all do. But he has no idea about the difficulties both you and he would face. I bet he still thinks that he can walk and do everything.
That sounds like a great place for him to be under the circumstances. Do something nice for yourself this afternoon in the knowledge that he is safe and being looked after so well.
A person with dementia saying that they want to be at home is quite normal. In fact if they didn't say it ,I would think something isn't right . My mother-in-law was like your husband, in that she thought she could do everything herself . In fact she could do little for herself. By the time she was in the care home she couldn't grasp the fundamentals of walking , was a high falls risk , yet thought she was still completely independent. She had no idea of her risks or the fact that the care home was the best place for her
