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I am new at this, anyone out there with advice pleas

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Evie5831, Nov 7, 2015.

  1. Evie5831

    Evie5831 Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    108
    #1 Evie5831, Nov 7, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2015
    My dad has recently been diagnosed with age related dementia. He has been in hospital for 11 weeks and is due to move to a care home soon. The hospital tell me nothing and just say I will find out what I need to know when he goes to the care home.
    My issue is no one seems to be able to answer my questions and I feel like I am losing the plot and worry I am not making the right decisions for him.
    He has a severe toilet obsession ( which is what sent him in hospital in the first place when he "willed" his bladder to stop working), he no longer wants to walk, he asks for a wheelchair all of the time, won't dress or clean himself and expects carers and family to do all of these things for him including taking him to the loo. He won't participate in ANY activity, won't watch the TV as " they only show 30 second extracts" will only talk about how Ill he is and if he isn't talking about that he is asleep or is asking to be left alone to sleep.
    I have looked up all the websites I can but nothing seems to match up with his behaviours.
    Is there anyone on this forum who has experienced anything similar as I feel very alone. I am desperate to do what is right for him but don't know what that is!
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP :)

    The lack of personal hygiene & short attention span are common dementia behaviour.
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,544
    Female
    South coast
    #3 canary, Nov 7, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2015
    Hello Evie and welcome

    People with dementia get all sorts of problems. The picture painted by popular media of someone who has dementia is of someone who is forgetful, but it is much, much more than this. Dementia is progressive and gradually involves the whole of the brain so that they gradually lose abilities.
    They forget how to wash and change their clothes, forget where the toilet is, forget how to use a knife and fork.... They lose abilities like walking and have to use frames and wheelchairs and become incontinent (I assume that what you mean by willing his bladder not to work). They become easily muddled and everything takes a terrific amount of energy to do (even trying to follow conversations) so they very quickly become tired.

    None of this is him deciding not to do things - it is as a result of the dementia
    I think you might find this fact-sheet helpful
    **
     
  4. Evie5831

    Evie5831 Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    108
    Thank you for your answers. Can you let me know the name of that fact sheet please as the link isn't opening for me. Thanks
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,544
    Female
    South coast
  6. Evie5831

    Evie5831 Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    108
    Hello

    He actually held on to his pee for so long that he had to be catheterised. It was removed after three weeks and now his continence is hit and miss
     
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,715
    Female
    London
    He might have trouble emptying his bladder completely and need medication for it. Catheters are not a good idea for people with dementia and might actually increase the risk of infections. Incontinence is very common and can result in frequent urine tract infections. Get him referred to the Continence Service, they can provide a certain amount of pads, usually not enough, but every little helps. UTIs can have devastating effects and increase confusion and other symptoms, so need to be treated ASAP with antibiotics.
     
  8. Evie5831

    Evie5831 Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    108
    That's immediately useful to me

    Thank you.
    My dad seems to broadly fit the middle category with one or two bits in the more severe region. I had thought that this had come on really quickly but looking at the fact sheet has shown me that what I had taken as being age and hearing related was most likely the early stages of dementia.
    It is a relief to know that his disparate symptoms do make sense for a dementia diagnosis.
     
  9. Evie5831

    Evie5831 Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    108
    I will get straight on to that

    I hadn't considered that he may not be able to totally empty his bladder. I will look in to the Incontinence service on Monday.
    Do you know if I would access that through his GP or social services?





     
  10. Rheme

    Rheme Registered User

    Nov 23, 2013
    159
    England
    Hi

    Is your dad going into a care home for respite care or on a permanent basis.

    If on a permanent basis then insist on a CHC Assessment for funding before his discharge from hospital.
     
  11. Rheme

    Rheme Registered User

    Nov 23, 2013
    159
    England
    Re you dad not being able to completely empty his bladder you should request a bladder scan via his gp.

    You should go with him to ensure they scan him initially, he then goes to the toilet to pass urine, and they then rescan him to identify whether his bladder is actually empty.

    It is essential that they do both scans as without the 2nd one after the visit to the toilet they cannot establish that he is unable to empty his bladder.
     
  12. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,715
    Female
    London
    Go via his GP.

    Btw, I really don't understand why the hospital does not keep you informed. I don't know if you have power of attorney but even without they should talk to next of kin, seeing as he can't retain the info himself. I've never had the slightest problem even without producing documents.
     
  13. Evie5831

    Evie5831 Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    108
    Thank you everyone

    Thanks for all your advice. For the first time I feel I have something concrete that I can do to try and improve his life and just knowing that he doesn't have to fit a certain set of criteria but can still have dementia is a tremendous help.
     

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