I am in pieces

myss

Registered User
Jan 14, 2018
430
In a previous thread entitled 'Falls', I mentioned that my dad had another fall but more serious than before on New Year's Eve morning which resulted in a fracture.

As he was at a latter stage of dementia, he was a little frail and the local hospital needed the input of a specialist at another hospital as to whether they will operate and if they don't the next steps. We had been waiting on them to reach a conclusion but they kept requesting different scans and xrays of the fracture.

Unfortunately as he slept most of the time, his intake of food was limited and he grew more frail and, when he was awake, he wasn't given as much food as he used to get when cared for at home. And due to a chest infection, his vital signs were affected.

Late last night, my dear dad passed away. As much as I know he has gone, it still does not feel real. I suspected that his end was nigh but not so so soon. In equal measure, I'm ok and distraught at the same time in that my family and I are supporting each other but are in pain for this loss. One so-call 'positive' though I had when I saw my dad last night is that that evil ******* Alzheimers/dementia no longer has its destructive grip on who was a strong, creative, resourceful and family-orientated man. Dad you are free to get back to how you once were in the world you're now in.

Thank you for reading my thoughts so far and my deepest empathy to anyone who are going through or been through such a bereavement. xx
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,338
In a previous thread entitled 'Falls', I mentioned that my dad had another fall but more serious than before on New Year's Eve morning which resulted in a fracture.

As he was at a latter stage of dementia, he was a little frail and the local hospital needed the input of a specialist at another hospital as to whether they will operate and if they don't the next steps. We had been waiting on them to reach a conclusion but they kept requesting different scans and xrays of the fracture.

Unfortunately as he slept most of the time, his intake of food was limited and he grew more frail and, when he was awake, he wasn't given as much food as he used to get when cared for at home. And due to a chest infection, his vital signs were affected.

Late last night, my dear dad passed away. As much as I know he has gone, it still does not feel real. I suspected that his end was nigh but not so so soon. In equal measure, I'm ok and distraught at the same time in that my family and I are supporting each other but are in pain for this loss. One so-call 'positive' though I had when I saw my dad last night is that that evil ******* Alzheimers/dementia no longer has its destructive grip on who was a strong, creative, resourceful and family-orientated man. Dad you are free to get back to how you once were in the world you're now in.

Thank you for reading my thoughts so far and my deepest empathy to anyone who are going through or been through such a bereavement. xx
Oh my dear, I am so sorry. all my thoughts and sympathy. Your dear dad sounds such a good man. Kindred.
 
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Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,450
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read of your loss. Please keep posting here as you will continue to get lots of support. Wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
9
@myss, I’m so sorry your dear Dad passed away like that. I don’t often comment on here, but that has really touched my heart and I didn’t even know him. For those that loved him I can only imagine how horrifying it’s been. Take care.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
389
So sorry for your loss of your Dad, I hope that in time you will remember the happier times. Take care x
 

Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
In a previous thread entitled 'Falls', I mentioned that my dad had another fall but more serious than before on New Year's Eve morning which resulted in a fracture.

As he was at a latter stage of dementia, he was a little frail and the local hospital needed the input of a specialist at another hospital as to whether they will operate and if they don't the next steps. We had been waiting on them to reach a conclusion but they kept requesting different scans and xrays of the fracture.

Unfortunately as he slept most of the time, his intake of food was limited and he grew more frail and, when he was awake, he wasn't given as much food as he used to get when cared for at home. And due to a chest infection, his vital signs were affected.

Late last night, my dear dad passed away. As much as I know he has gone, it still does not feel real. I suspected that his end was nigh but not so so soon. In equal measure, I'm ok and distraught at the same time in that my family and I are supporting each other but are in pain for this loss. One so-call 'positive' though I had when I saw my dad last night is that that evil ******* Alzheimers/dementia no longer has its destructive grip on who was a strong, creative, resourceful and family-orientated man. Dad you are free to get back to how you once were in the world you're now in.

Thank you for reading my thoughts so far and my deepest empathy to anyone who are going through or been through such a bereavement. xx
 

Janjay

New member
Sep 28, 2018
8
So very sorry to hear of your loss...but as you say, your dad is free now, free to fly, my husband is in mid stage and it is the most horrible destructive illness....praying for a cure...
 

myss

Registered User
Jan 14, 2018
430
Thank you for all of your messages, it's appreciated. It's all still a blur at the moment, especially as I had scheduled surgery yesterday and I'm sure the drugs and other effects haven't fully worn off.

My dad wasn't perfect but he was indeed a good man as someone mentioned above. His 'bad' habit was to go out his way for people who didn't deserve it. He always provided and went to his furthest point to do so.

Even when he didn't get it back, he would again take strides to help himself out if need be. One classic tale was a time a 'family friend' who knew about double glazing failed to turn up to take out the really old single glazed windows in our house. No call, nothing, and he only lived round the corner. So we look to see if his workvan was there - it was - but my dad felt that he rather do it himself. And he did. After spending all day at a library reading about it. And those windows stayed in, no leak, no issue for years!

I can recall, even in his early dementia days, in order for his forgetfulness not to affect an appointment for my mum, he left home early and walked quite a number of miles to be with her (she's in a nursing home) instead of taking the buses we wrote down for him to take (and he loved riding the buses). And was probably about 6hrs early too. ;) Missing you so much already Dad xx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,509
In a previous thread entitled 'Falls', I mentioned that my dad had another fall but more serious than before on New Year's Eve morning which resulted in a fracture.

As he was at a latter stage of dementia, he was a little frail and the local hospital needed the input of a specialist at another hospital as to whether they will operate and if they don't the next steps. We had been waiting on them to reach a conclusion but they kept requesting different scans and xrays of the fracture.

Unfortunately as he slept most of the time, his intake of food was limited and he grew more frail and, when he was awake, he wasn't given as much food as he used to get when cared for at home. And due to a chest infection, his vital signs were affected.

Late last night, my dear dad passed away. As much as I know he has gone, it still does not feel real. I suspected that his end was nigh but not so so soon. In equal measure, I'm ok and distraught at the same time in that my family and I are supporting each other but are in pain for this loss. One so-call 'positive' though I had when I saw my dad last night is that that evil ******* Alzheimers/dementia no longer has its destructive grip on who was a strong, creative, resourceful and family-orientated man. Dad you are free to get back to how you once were in the world you're now in.

Thank you for reading my thoughts so far and my deepest empathy to anyone who are going through or been through such a bereavement. xx
Sending you love & hugs
Xx